Snickers - Get some nuts!

We usually don't post anything Salami posts, mostly because he acts like a 12 year old girl when we do - vica versa. This commercial he posted though is too good not to get a mention here.Enjoy that Brazilian holiday of yours Salami.

Buffy's Swearing Keyboard

A good mate Buubus, just sent me this link. Hilarious!

Pool Party

Its starting to get a little heated up here at ChumpStyle, so think we can all do with a little swim to cool off. And then off for a bubble bath to clean up.

Alec Baldwin hates Kim Basinger

The clip of Alec Baldwin laying down the law on his 11 year old daughter's voice mail was recorded on the 11th April, but only hit the web some time last week. The culprit who posted it on the web? None other than ex-wife uber-bitch Kim Basinger. Yes she may have hiked her dress up and blown me a kiss and on the set of I Dreamed of Africa at the Pretoria Boys High in 99, but it's over between us and I've lost all respect for her and gained a whole wad for Alec after this. I bet you that little 11 year old scamp got everything she deserved. And who better to give it to her than none other than SNL favorite Alec Baldwin - read and listen as he pulls off every line with precision as if it's an audition to end all auditions.

Click play above and read the transcript (if needed) below, it's a duzi.

"Hey I wanna tell you something okay, and I wanna leave a message for you right now because again its 10:30 here in New York on a Wednesday and once again I've made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone to call you at a specific time. When the time comes for me to make the phone call I stop whatever I'm doing and I go and I make that phone call at eleven-o-clock in the morning in New York and if you don't pick up the phone at ten-o-clock at night and you don't even have that god damn phone turned on. I want you to know something okay, I'm tired of playing this game with you. I'm leaving this message with you to tell you, you have insulted me for the last time. You have insulted me, you don’t have the brains or the decency as a human being, I don't give a damn if you're 12-years-old, or 11-years-old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass, who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned, you have humiliated me for the last time with this phone, and when I come out there next week, I'm gonna fly out there for the day just to straighten you out on this issue, I'm gonna let you know just how disappointed in you I am and how angry I am with you that you've done this to me again. You have made me feel like shit and you have made me feel like a fool over and over and over again, and this crap you pull on me with this god damn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother and you do it to me constantly, and over and over again. I am gonna get on a plane or I am gonna come out there for the day and I'm gonna straighten your ass out when I see you, do you understand me? I'm gonna really make sure you get it. Then I'm gonna get on a plane and I'm gonna turn around and I'm gonna come home. So you better be ready Friday, the 20th, to meet with me so I'm gonna let you know just how I feel about what a rude little pig you really are. You are a rude thoughtless little pig, okay."

(Source WWTDD)

Touché

But now it's on like Donkey Kong.

Here is the Trifector; Lesbians, Asian, and Glass Dongs


Haven't you seen the adds - "It's always better in Glass"

And you get Dessert too

Challenge Reply

Jessica Jaymes and Laurie Wallace

Maybe more is better, but then maybe more Hardcore is even better! You better bring a bigger spade next time Mikey!

Is It?

Don’t fucking push me oke. I said don’t fucking push me. I’LL MOER YOU.


So it’s a challenge then, is it? Well I just happen to have backup, and they are as hot as they are horny. Now Joffers, what’s her name is not bad…uh Lucy…I mean she has all that we need, but more is always better. Especially when there is less clothing involved.

I decide that in true Mikey style I won’t just smack you back with a similar klap but rather hammer you upside the head with a spade to make you think twice next time.

Ello dere ladies – Enjoy

Ignore the hostilities and retaliate. We need more porn.

Related Post: Smut

Smut

I thought when I started blogging here it would be a challenge between Mikey and me to post the best poontang, but it seems that he has given up on that challenge. OK there the challenge has been laid down. Lets see what you other Chumps have.



And a Lucy Pinder gallery from Phun.

Chopper Reid says: Harden the fuck up

We've been talking about this clip amongst mates like we would at school on a thursday morning about the previous night's Friends episode. Inevitably there's always some arse who missed it, and it was always a joke making him feel like a right toss for doing so. This is for all you tossers out there, Harden the Fuck up!

FunnyOrDie.com - A Will Ferrell Project

It's been announced that Will Ferrell's production company is behind FunnyOrDie.com. You may have already had a taste when we sent you over there a few days a go to view the Landlord video featuring Will Ferrel, Adam McKay and a crazy uncredited Landlady.

The site launched as beta just week, and already has had a few million views. Site user's can upload comedy video's and other users will determine whether or not the video's are funny and are worthy for a front page mention - think YouTube + Digg. Video's that are deemed not funny at all are sent off to the "crypt" section of the site and are left to die a sorry death.

Yes this has all been done before, but with Will Ferrell's involved I think we'll see some great comedic talent coming out of FunnyOrDie.com.

Related Post: Will Ferrell Has a Nasty Landlord

Boobs of the Week: Candice Boucher

Seeing as the boys kicked some lily white Pommie arse yesterday, I think it's only fitting that we featured one of their sister's - Mark Boucher's sister in this case. Candice Boucher in all her swimsuit glory.

Related Post: Boobs of the Week: Kerry McGregor

The Unforgivable...

WARNING: EXTREME PROFANITY AND CONTENT

Some foul mouth m#tha f#cker spitting about whatever the f#ck he wants to!
Pretty damn sick/funny (check out all 4).
Thanks to Rob C for the link.

Will Ferrell Has a Nasty Landlord

The Landlord

I've been there, although he was more of a middleman than a landlord. I had a hefty monthly rent bill for which most, I'm pretty sure, was to pay his monthly USN bill. 6 foot plus, Croatian by ancestry but queer Austrian by nature - let it be said that the weird Asian gay guy upstairs stood no chance. The neighborhood dogs howling at top lung, and numerous noise warnings issued was proof of this.

Did Ya Have a Good One

For all those who got well mashed over the Easter weekend, remember that although this weekend is shorter, there is no reason you can't end up like Mr. Pirate Princess Pickle Bunny.


Here are some links to get you through work tomorrow.

Left Handed Toons(by right handed people)
Bud Light Gorillas(as well as the rest of the blog)
Soccer Update(NSFW - ah, just click it)
Soft core(Sooo Hjot, wan to tush da body)
Montage of all the email of late(don't have anything for the brackets)

Avril Lavigne has no clue

Watch how this English interviewer cuts Avril into tiny pieces. It starts off with an awkward question and gets progressively worse for the little Sk8er grrl.I was on the floor after the "they say Venice smells like eggs..." comment, ah British dry humor - gotta love it.

Related Post:
Avril Lavigne @ The Dome

Boobs of the Week: Kerry McGregor

Kerry, for me tops the SA swimsuit models fo sho. View the full gallery here.

I think this is the first time we've featured a South African as Boobs of the Week, shame on us! Not to worry, the next few weeks we'll make it up to you.

Excuse Me Orifice

Today on the news, I heard that some poor dude got pulled over by the traffers for having a big fat slobber on his room-ys, fined R500 and then left there thinking what the FUCK just happened.

It has been announced by the very intelligent orifices at the traffic department that drinking (non-alcoholic), eating and smoking in your car is now also illegal whilst driving.

Quote (not really but it’s close enough): "It are eellegal to be doing anyving vat can obstruct your driving capabilities on ve road. You should haf your full thought while driving"

I mean where will it end. I can just imagine that on the way to work, some dumb cunt in a khaki uniform jumps out of the bush and fines me on the spot for a DUI-NS (driving under the influence of nut-scratching). Who knows maybe even for tuning into the traffic channel.

BEE: Making it Work

Have a look at this top commercial from Ford. A great way to put BEE to good use, watch and learn my South African friends.
Top drawer, Ford!

Spring Break Fiver

Hilarious!

"I was at a wet t-shirt competition and a guy in the crowd slapped this chick on the belly. My camera just happened to catch the fat ripple effect." - Sweet Dave

Would have been really, ridiculously sweet if Dof Dave left out the nekkid boob photoshop effort though.Someone send this off to Time, Life or National Geographic and label it "best taken photograph this side of 2000" - they need to know.

Slumber Party

Guys all over the world have imagined that girls at slumber parties have pillow fights in there underwear and then proceed onto more kinkier things. Well these ladies are here to satisfy your imagination and show you just how much fun slumber parties can be.

Any hot ladies want to invite me to a slumber party like this by any chance?

Grand Theft Auto IV Trailer

Set in Liberty City once again, this time the main characters are Russian mobsters. From the look of things gathered from the trailer (below), it's set to be a corker. It looks absolutely beautiful too.

Check out the teaser trailer below:

GTA IV Trailer

________________
Side note: I've been loving Daily Motion videos lately, they run smoothly and look far better embedded on websites than the rusty old YouTube equivalents.

Linkin Park - Chester and Whine

After a four year run of side projects and collaborations Linkin Park are back with a brand new single and a forthcoming album release in May.

After listening to the lovely piano, harps and Chester Bennington's girlish, raspy whine on the latest single What I've Done, I'm convinced they're sitting firmly behind Coldplay in an around the world "can you rockers get any more geekier" yacht race.

Let me know what you think, but be warned, the visual mastery of the video may fool your judgment.

Linkin Park - What I've Done [via]

2007 Blog Awards Winners

Big thanks to everyone who voted for us, but unfortunately we weren't able to pull in any awards this year. Check out the results here.

We were represented by the interns, Mikey and Joffers this year and I have it on good knowledge that they never quite kept up the Chump name - by throwing it away. The grumpy sods left early. Jinja had to pick his sister up at the airport, Dari couldn't give a toss and I was off on a weekend of catching some rays and destroying a round of golf or two in Sabi which is why original pranksters never made it through. Maybe a reflection of what we really thought of the process this year, maybe not. One thing is for sure, we missed a huge party! Check out Aquila's photo's of the event here, and the video (produced by Missing Link's Leechi in little under a half an hour, top stuff) below:

Congrats to all the winners, most notably Tertia for the Blog of the Year award and a big thanks too Jon Cherry for organizing the event. Huge sour grapes until next year.