Chick or dick?

Salami, after finding yourself in a bit of a pickle last week, I suggest you take this test. Next time you're belting a belter, maybe you'll think twice.

Best you look for/look out for her She-Unit, before you try to get down 'n dirrry wit' her, well, that's depending on what you're into.

Link Dump - Aiight

Really nothing exciting has been going down here at ChumpStyle HQ. I think the only exciting over the past 2 weeks or so that has happened is that Jinja actually made post, please, keep your applause until I finish. Ok I'm done.

I've recently acquired a 19 inch, and still recovering from surgery which is possibly the reason I have been somewhat quiet of late.My arm should heal fast but damn this is a gigantic computer screen, you cannot hide a thing. Ive been caught by the MD on numerous occasions shuffling through dodgy powerpoint slides issued among other things via email by our recent resident porn monger, Judge. Buddy please give a little warning, you know the drill, Spanish file name means dodgy, English means fair game - even my MD knows this.

	Radar interviews Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence who goes on to tell what shows he digs - and what shows truly suck
	Own3d compilation, sit back, push those specs back up the bridge of your nose & squeal geekily "that mu'fucker just got own3d".
	Johnny Depp gave Kate Moss a cocaine tray (commonly known as a mirror) as a rehab gift, what a legend.
	Jessica Simpson's assets are crowned best cleavage in Hollywood. Whoa no one saw that coming?
	Newscast streaker - the run-by farter. The funniest clips I have ever seen - today.
	Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
	Fan wins $1,000,000 kicking a 50 yard field goal.
	Jeez, it's been a while since we've pointed you folks off to a Jenna Jameson gallery.
	The lads from Family Guy sing Journey, Hilarious!!

Don't playa hate, playa 'ppreciate

Being the pimpiddy pimp that I am, I would never have thought that even D-Dawg could get mo' pimpified. ChumpReaders, I present to you Bishop Don Dawg Quick. Wikki, wikkiiiii.

Get yo' P.I.M.P on.

And check the pimp manual out too.

Alex P - 5's hottie of the day

So was listening to Leigh Ann's Hottie of the Day on Five's streaming audio - I'm an avid listener, waiting for the day someone nominates me.

I coudn't help but prick my ears up when I heard the name Alex Papa--- as Friday's hottie. No way, could it be the Alex from school? His description - shaved head (possibly), trimmed goatee (definitely) and sleeveless shirt (yeh, I can see that).

So I clicked onto my internet Favourites folder, clicked on my shortcut "5's hottie", to see my boy. Crap, imagine my disappoitment when it wasn't Alex from school, but another Grick sharing a similar Papa-something name.

Lehoffnardo da Vinci's latest masterpiece

I haven't made a Hoff post in a while, maily due to some really crappy homemade jobs going around, but I thought this one was well done.

WW3 is coming

Iran: President Says Israel Should Be 'Wiped Off Map'

When I read the headline I thought, "ye ye, whatever". But if you actually read the article it is very, very scary.

Dari, you right in the line of fire there. Cheers pal... I got first dibs on your... umm... umm Cheers pal.

Check it out

Five differences

Check this link, find 5 differences between the pictures. Look hard cos its quite difficult to find them. Apparently you are supposed to be a special kind of clever if you find all five. I got two. I'm more a special kinda stoopid.

Boobs of the week: Marzia Prince

...why if it isn't me new favourite lass Marzia Prince.

When I say favourite I do of course mean other than The Bokster - good save Wez.

Gallery - Marzia Prince
Gallery 2 - Marzia Prince

Related:
Marzia Prince
Marzia Prince Boobs
Vida Guerra stolen phone photos
Monica Leigh
Kayden Kross
Marissa Miller Nude
Vernon Koekoemoer
Vernon Koekoemoer Vodacom Ad

Pinkies the new black

Me mate Ben-G, organiser to the whackest partay's in Jozi has let me know that the Pinkies Party 2005 in is da hizzy once again. I see Salamz has also been called upon to holler onto the troops.

So here's the dealio:
Westpoint in Sandton, doll!
Saturday 26 November, 11am-10pm, then free entrance to SuDaDa after!
Featuring Prime Circle, Lloyd Wild and Dean Fuel (the new Vin Diesel, me thinks?).
A mere hun'ed 'n twenty Ront will get you in, which gets you as much drink-yourself-silly-SAB drinks and Pinkies Punch as you force down your throat.

With sponsors like Sir Charles and SL magazine on board, this is sure to be HOOGE!

Dude, in Layman's terms: Crazy-hot sun. Chicks in bikinis. And they're drunk (nudge, nudge, wink, wink!). Maybe some random gets so drunk she falls over and you get to see her pink lips, maybe she's so drunk you get to sink pink. Or not.



Update: Hold up! My over-eager Asian-mathematical brain did some number crunching. 11am til 10pm is 11 hours, right? And the invite says "10 hours of fun in the sun"... hmmm. And then there's the Geographical issue of Jozi's summer sun setting at 7pm, which means... man, I miss school!

Google what? Google who?

Google "failure", then press "I'm Feeling Lucky".

And in a related story... the funniest parody clip ever.

Mokopa, awaiting your response.

Where's Wally

Road rage

Are you an alohocolic?

Thanks to my Hoff dealer, I present you the alco's test.

Judge, Wezzo, G and Jinja- I expect nothing less than a hun'ed percent, okay esse?

Worst roommate

EVER!

Just be glad you don't live with anyone this fucked up! I suppose, in any shared household/commune/dormitory, there's always the "one". You know, the "one" that doesn't contribute, brings fokol to the table. Eats, sleeps and leaves. The "one" we should've voted out/evicted when he was overseas. Yes, I'm talking about someone in particular. Downstairs, it's Wezzo, upstairs? Well, I'm the one overseas at the mo', which makes me the... moving on!

So anyway, just be glad you didn't live with this chick. Now she was fucked serious! Real loco homes. There's lots of reading, but the photos tell the story.

WARNING: The pics are not for the faint hearted. It's sick, but funny. In a sick kinda way. Which makes it funnier.

Then again, if she was this hot, I suppose I could look past these misdemeanors. Check out this online journal and decide for yourself.

Disclaimer: The chick in the picture is NOT really the chick that made the mess. Mmmmmkay?

PS. Wazza, if I get back and I've been evicted, I'm gonna be grumpy. Judge and Pot, as for Wezzo, if I get back and he's still there, I'm gonna get even grumpier.

Rock at Odds

It's going to be a ripper.

Thanks for the heads up Jacque (Misericord).

Banned iTunes commercial: Take 3

You doubted me. Don't ever doubt me. EVER! Cos I crush you like toothpick. Dead! {say in Eastern European accent, or just speak like Judge!}.

I was requested to present prima facia evidence before the court. And so your honour, I present Ex-to-tha-zee A. Hard evidence of the said advertisement broadcast on US television, as witnessed by myself on the evening of Friday October 21 2005 at approximately 19h45. I have nothing further your honour, and ask that this case be dismissed without prejudice. On behalf of my learned colleague, I apologise for wasting the court's time.

Dari Dawg 1 : Wezzo Pa-LOSER 0.

Wezza my booooy!

Attention: urgent.

Found this in my email this morn:

I am Barr. Jozef Legaat Carlos from belgium, a family lawer to the former iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi and currently base in Jordan with the former Defence Minister Hazem Shaalan's family.

Urgent Assistance needed, Please.

Yours faithfully,
Barr. Jozef Legaat Carlos
Carlos and Associates

This seems really urgent, I think I'm gonna mail him. Maybe you should too. Get him at barr_jlegaat_carlos@carlosandassociates.com.

Banned iTunes Commercial - Take 2

vs.
iTunes vs Lugz - Who ya got?

Most of you have already Googled as to why exactly the Emenem iTunes ad was taken off the Apple site and supposedly never made it to TV so this is all going to be old news.

I received an hate mail from Dari this morning (a small portion of you might know that Dari has moved on to greener pastures and become a republican-propaganda-guzzling yank) with regards to a previous post I had made. The email was short, brisk and to the point - SCARY!!:

Eminem ipod ad
Just saw the ad on TV - so its not banned. for once, your sources were wring.
tsk tsk, u losing it dude.

My sources were wring? Google search define:wring - To contort: twist and press out of shape. OK so the Asian African American wasn't wrong, but I hardly believe the Jap because as most of you readers know the commercial was allegedly banned because it was frightfully similar to the advert for Lugz (shoes made popular by Gangster Rappers, Hip-Hoppers, Crips, Bloods & the KKK and the like) made by the great people (and my peeps) over at Psyop.tv. Now for the iTunes ad to be still showing on US television is outrageous, Ludicrous and downright NAAASTY!

Dari Dawg care to explain?

Lugz Commercial (select Lugz 01 under "archive" at Psyop to see it.)
Banned (maybe) iTunes Commercial - Direct Link
Related: ChumpStyle - Banned iTunes Commercial

Turkey Slap

Sometimes a Turkey Slap is a way of saying I love you.

Where Did I Come From? - A sketch from an Australian comedy show The Ronnie Johns Half Hour where a youngster learns exactly he came from. Hilarious!!

The Ronnie Johns Half Hour - Where Did I Come From?

via Screenhead

Cop cut out

Very very shhneaky! Apparently this is what they do in Israel. Jews, aren't they clever? It’s no wonder they were able to part the sea to get across to the 50% off sale at Cairo’s Pep factory shop. No offense Mervin!

Cos you're always WRONG!

Face it Judgey-Poo, the wife always knows better. And no matter how much you fight, no matter how much reasoning, logic and Johnny Cochrane/Don King convincing you do, Mrs J-Poo is ALWAYS gonna be right.

It's no wonder you found this flower shop.

Skandaal - Nike Billboad Crushes Car

Great Ad!!

So much so that after I've finished wrapping this post up I'm off to buy a pair of Nike 90's.

Update:
I never actually went out and bought a pair. Bread, milk & Chakalaka is what was needed.

Invitation to a Blogger's Poker Fest

After chatting with Regardt from PcStuff, we decided it will be f'ing awesome if we send an invite out to all the Blogger's out there who wanna have a game of poker vs other Blogger's.

Nothing serious, just a bit of fun... of course the winner has bragging rights till the next game.

The game will work as follows:

- Texas Hold 'em (if you don't know how it works, watch ESPN)
- R50 gets you in the game, if you lose your chips early, you can buy in again for another R50.
(The cut off time for this will be decided on the day.)
- Max 16 people, giving us a decent pot of R1200 - R1500.
- Venue: Centurion, more details will be provided.
- Date: 18th Nov

Bring whatever you want to drink and some snacks if you wish.

I am hoping Big Ric will be there to ensure orderly behaviour, I hope you listening Wez.

Regardt, let me know if left anything out.

I flipping forgot to put the date in, thanks Regardt.

Never look directly into the sun - it can damage your eyes.

Playboy - Germany.

This is the kind of advertising we need in SA. I can see why it would never happen here cause the majority of the population see them anyway due to tribal traditions and the conservative afrikaans speaking medium would probably raise more complaints to the advertising authority then would be received by the first Amish family to get a TV in their village.

But we can always wish.

The billboard before any rain...


And when it does...

Crackin' it up with BBC in the 70's.

This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).
Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read ...

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.

Boobs of the Week: Vera Jordanova

These Eastern European belters seem to come out of no where. Has anyone heard of Vera Jordanova before? Is she a model, a dodgy European sitcom actor, mail order bride - what damn it?

Bond Girl Contenders: Jolie vs. Alba - who ya got?

Yes, yes the new Bond happens to be Daniel Craig, old news - blow that nose and wipe those tears. We should be more interested in who will play alongside the Snotty Nosed Brit.

According to Sky News the two main contenders to play the main Bond Girl in Casino Royale will be none other than the two of most hottest actresses at the moment Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba. The question is who would you rather want/do.