The epic tale of Gwammi Mufasta.

The best 1 minute video you will see all year, The epic tale of Gwammi Mufasta.

Boobs of the Week, Week 36 maybe?

Don't you love it that have no idea as to which day of the week Chumps Boobs of the Week will be revealed, but when it does it hits you like a freight train? Coincidence, I do as well brah, I do as well.

On Like Donkey Bong

Yeah it's still on, and yeah you still have a chance of taking home R2000 straight cash petrol money and a limited edition ChumpStyle t-shirt - hey we'll even throw in Mikey's services.

SMS "ChumpStyle" to 35117 and he's smiling.

We've added a confirmation sms service, which a number of you asked for. SMS as many times as you like to up your chances, SA residents only.

Guts or Balls ?

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between these? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below....

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next, fatass."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject....

Special thanks to Kenny for clarifying these terms for us

Marmaduke Cartoons Need an Explaination

This just may be the funniest blog I've read all year. Marmaduke Explained.

Marmaduke is being cock-blocked.

Marmaduke is playing see-saw with some area children. As he is humongous, he is kicking the living shit out of them; unless they find a really fat kid for their team, Marmaduke is going to get another shutout.

Pure gold, read more [via].

Grey's Dr. Izzie Stevens

Everyone seems to be a Dr Grey fan, I'm more into Izzie. Now If I could only get my myself to sit through an episode, god that show's bad.

PBF: The Pacific Council

It just get better and better.

Monty Python: Cheese Shop

I found it! The best Monty Python sketch EVER!

Take it for the team?

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at this one... but it's a real howler!!

I was catching up with the goings-on back home in P-Town when I came across the IOL dating ad in the sidebar - looking for men between 18 and 100!!!

Why don't you just put "Anything'll do" or "If you have a willy, call me".

I don't mean to be ugly or nothing, but surely when creating a dating profile you should check that all the specifics are 100% correct? Mistakes can be costly. And embarrassing. But funny for the rest of us.

Miss Maxim Worldwide

Vote for your favourite (video and pictures). Ms Swiss will definitely take home a Maxi for "Most likely to make it as a porn star", and sadly no Miss SA [insert clever quip here, because I'm over this].

I Just Noticed Something

Bam: Can surf for porn like a man possesed.

Jinja: Can skate the fuck out of a skateboard while spanking his Uncle Vito.

Both: Have claimed to have had a little Italian in them, not so sure about Bam but Jinja's is a true story...

Bam confirms he slept with Jessica Simpson

Bam bounced a penny or two off Jessica Simpsons ass and more, while Steve-o got stuck into Nicole Richie along with shnorting Nitrous Oxide (yeah Nos) with Paris Hilton. All this was revealed Tuesday (19 Sept) on the Howard Stern show. Got to hand it to Stern, he sure can drill the beefy details out of his guests. Remember when Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) confessed to having a foursome with Jennifer Love Hewitt, Lindsay Lohan & Ashlee Simpson? Well, not really but close.

Els Got to Second Base with Alba

The latest rumour is that Ernie Els got to second base with Jessica Alba... sloppy second base. Hate him so much right now.

Top Gear Host Seriously Injured in Crash

I first saw this on Third World Ant's blog, very, very sad. I actually have lump in my throat typing this (and copying and pasting this...)

Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond remains seriously ill in hospital after a crash in a jet-powered car while filming for the BBC programme.

The 36-year-old was taken by air ambulance to Leeds General Infirmary's neurological unit on Wednesday.

A hospital spokesman said: "He has seen some improvement overnight, but remains in a serious but stable condition."

Mr Hammond had been in a dragster-style car capable of reaching speeds of about 300mph at Elvington airfield near York. BBC

Hammster I really hope you fight the good fight and get better soon. Love your work.

Dari Dawg - Out of office – Sept '06-Feb '07

Just like Joey and Frasier, it’s time for me to start my own spin-off series (blog). Or if you will, to start my solo career and become more famous than when I was in the original boyband.

What exactly am I on about? Well, I'm off once again to the Americas to work (fucking hard!) for the next couple months, pretty similar to last year when I was sent to Denver, Colorado in the US. Only this time, I'm off to Canadia, eh? Calgary office to be exact.

But not to worry, I’ll still be contributor to Chump (not that I add any real value).

And come October, I’ll be joined, well, sort of, by G Man. He’s been sent to his Washington DC office with “Robert”.

And so for those of you that actually care, but probably not, join us at dari-gman.blogspot.com to see what crappening in Canadia and the US. It should be MACHETE DESHTROYER. Like when Mohammed kicked Jesus’ ass in the head.

So keep it real and keep it wrapped up.

Madonna to ride a rocket

Madonna has booked a place on Russia's first cruise flight into space, according to reports.

The singer told fans it was her intention to join the planned 2009 launch team during her recent show in the country and has apparently since gone on to secure a place.

Stars including Aliens actress Sigourney Weaver, meanwhile, have been invited to join Virgin Galactic's first public expedition planned for 2008.

All of it

Man gets dead man willy implant

Finally, a solution for ye people that jackoff with a tweezer. (Wez)

"Chinese surgeons performed the first-ever penis transplant on a man who's penis had been damaged in an accident."

Only problem for the guy was that him and his wife couldn't get used to having a dead dude's willy in their lives... Apparently this is a common problem in these kind of surgeries, who would have thought it.

All of it

Update: And then they cut it off. (sheesh Salami, so much aggression, you stopped taking your anti-retrovirals?)

Bullet Time in History

Want to know the history of Bullet Time? Sure you do, you DragonballZ fanboy you. Wikipedia really brings the guacamole dip to the party on this one, an entry as thorough as Zuma having a shower. Really got to get under them man titties if you want to be fresh for court if you know what I mean. Heard he got off? Phew thank God. Now I'm really backing my boy to beat off the dwindling list of contenders (Leon you got it beat son) and take it at the end. Finally we will have someone astute ruling this promising land billed with a bright future.

This post turned 180 half way through, didn't it? Bullet Time Baby, Woooo!

Enzo Ferrari for Sale on EBay

In what must be a first, an Enzo Ferrari has gone on Sale on EBay, available for UK residents only though. The current bid is £400,000.00 for all you London folk who are interested in picking it up willy nilly. Have a look at the Q&A at the bottom though, couple of pearlers:

Q: Ive just acquired a Hotel on Mayfair in Monopoly ... would you consider a straight swap???
A: Maybe if you have Park Lane as well with 2 hotels on each!

Thanks for heads up Al

Pinder & Orlaith Ponder on what to get for Dinner

Orlaith McAllister and Lucy Pinder would really like to show you their breasts. Well I lie, Orlaith yes, Lucy on the other hand is a bit shy. Though I'm sure we will all be able look past this minor detail and respect her decision - bitch!

Failure?

Do yourself a flavour and visit google, type in "Failure" and hit "I'm feeling lucky". You won't believe were it takes you.

Snakes on a plane.

Scary Cleavage of the Day

Can anyone guess who's these belong too, not in a million years. Here's the answer.

It's a damn shame I tell ya, although I'd still rattle those bones in a second. Oh God I did not just say that, erase, erase, erase. Come to pappa my li'l Skeletor. No. Yes. No. You. Ok.

Skeleton Update:
What the hell are these women doing themselves, check out Kate Hudson's new look and feel.

Hump the Pump

Woo Hoo! Beer money, oh sorry it's R2000 petrol money, my bad but still, Woo Hoo!
Tired of all the fuel price hikes? Tired of not having a ChumpStyle Tee? Well ChumpStyle is giving you the chance to win R2000 worth of fuel money as well as a ChumpStyle T-shirt. Simply SMS "chumpstyle" to 35117 and stand a chance to win.

Can You Believe I'm Single?

Check more Can You Believe I'm Single comics out here. Funny shiite.

Update: We all love crass humour comics so please do share your links to other awesome online comic strips in the comments.
Put it in the format: Penny Arcade - http://www.penny-arcade.com
_____________
Shot for the mail Dooz

Random links to Hjotness...

...some NSFW goodies. Always best viewed at work.

Fake ones, Real ones, Big ones, Small ones, Bikini ones, Blonde ones, Brunette ones,
Celbrity ones(Lindsey Lohan), and again ones(Lindsey Lohan),
Bathtub ones, more than one ones, DD ones,
Black/White ones, Redhead ones,
Model ones and,
Cowgirl ones.
Enjoy

Chump's Very First DrunkCast: Wezley Pezley

What do you get when you take 3000 litres of booze mix it in Wezzo's stomach?
Wezley Pezley!

We intend to make it a regular thing, so here's hoping.

Osama Sissyfight

Dearest devoted joehead,

5 years after 9/11 and Osama bin laden stills runs free.
Although I don't really think hiding like a little nancy ferry in
a smelly ass cave is actually considered "runnin' free"!
That being said... I would personally be golly gosh darn proud
to be the first guy to punch that spaghetti noodle in the face, and I think
most everyone I know wants to do the same. So here's your chance.
"Osama Sissyfight" is back for your punching pleasure!

Come on, give him a good left hook!
Joe Cartoon

The Breathing Earth

This site is quite cool, it shows and gives stats on every country in a handy flash animation. I was hoping to see boobs moving up and down when I read "breathing" , but oh well...

Playmate of the Month

Jordan Monroe (born April 14, 1986 in Denison, Iowa) is an American model from the state of Nebraska. She was selected as the Playmate of the Month for the October 2006 issue of Playboy. She is currently a student at the University of Nebraska–Lincoln. She enjoys long walks on the beach, chick flicks, spending your cash, nagging your ear off, driving your car and doing all that, with her wonderful natural DD-cups hanging out. So worth it.

What does a Playmate study? Hef's fav positions-101 or When to give him his blue pill-100

Improv Everywhere: Rob!

The masters of public mayhem Improv Everywhere's latest prank involved having one of their agents getting lost in Yankee stadium. What happened while he wandered around the stadium is not surprising but incredible. Lets just say it became a large scale game of Where's Waldo.

Improv Everywhere if you have no idea is a group of actors in New York who cause scenes through out the city doing various large and small scale pranks. Check out some of their other missions.

Schumi Bows Out

Yesterday after winning the Italian Formula 1 Grand Prix, Michael Schumacher announced that he will be retiring from Racing at the end of the year. He has won countless races and made numerous world records in the last 30 years. With only 3 races left Schumi is hoping to take the Championship for the eighth time. He is only two point adrift of the reigning world champion, Fernando Alonso, who incidentally will be starting the next race in last position after blowing his engine on lap 43. I'm not that much of a Schumacher fan but I hope he wins the title because whether you like him or not he's an amazing driver, dead from the neck up, but amazing.

Schumacher said: "Words are not enough and whatever I could say now will never fully express how much I love this fascinating world of motorsport and all it has given me. From go-karting to Formula One I have lived through moments that I will never forget." ...via

Let's Drive

Next time you get a speeding fine, blame it on the AWESOME track you were listening to in the car...

In the USA, it seems that's a valid excuse...

The three-and-a-half minute rock guitar riff is being blamed for
speeding tickets received by driving enthusiasts who say they were victims
of the song's upbeat tempo. The consensus is the song puts you so deeply
into the driving groove that the speed limit becomes irrelevant.

VICTIMS??? Hahaha, nice one. I am definately writing that down and am going to try it... "But officer, my music is SO fucking RAD man! Get in dude, I will pump the tunes for you! And bring your devil horns, you going to need them!"

AND, the record company then agrees to pay some of the fines, because they KNOW, their song is just SO RAD!

"We've received complaints from drivers in eleven states," says Adrian
Martinez, president of Morusa Records, the label that released the CD a
year ago. "We have agreed to pay for some of the fines as a courtesy."

They say there's a sucker born every minute.

http://www.MorusaRecords.com

Interrupting Sloth

Gets me everytime!

Ariadne Artiles - Serious Hotness, Crap Name

I never did my homework on this one so I pretty much know jack about this belter in question, besides the name, Ariadne Artiles. I would normally go about telling you where she's from, what size tits she's packing, what type of cherries she likes to dip in her coffee etc. The normal shit to fill a post but at the end of the day I'm pretty damn sure I could write anything here and you would never go about reading it. Why I even spent my time typing this out and sending it through a spell checker I have no idea. Did I ever tell you about the time we caught Jinja whacking off to pictures of Mikey's ex eating peanut butter saamies? No? Believe it, because it's true.

Chump's Boobs of the Week

Jennifer Ellison is rather fine and all over the place, she's probably even been on Chump before. You can find her at Hollywood Tuna, Gorilla Mask, Popoholic, here, here and now here.

We are proud to have you as our Boob's of the Week.