Car Ads that tell the truth

I loved these... in particular the Beetle ad.

Parting shot!

Yeah baby yeah!!! As if I need another public holiday to punctuate my days of doing fokol at "work", I am happy to say that we will be celebrating yet another long weekend!!! 1 May 2005 is Wekkas Day! Such irony is that not?! So don't expect too much movement on Chump til next Tuesday, aaiiight?

Next week I'll be in Mfk, which means I'll hopefully be Chumping like a champ, 'cos I really have fokol to do when I'm there - just hope the internet line can handle more than two users at a time! So enjoy the long weekeeeeend BABY! And remember, if you're drinking, don't drive, and if you're driving, don't drive down Rivonia Road going "OINK OINK". Mac, you hear me?

So here's my (leg) parting shot:

Word of the day

Well, just before the long weekend, I thought I will just enlighten you with some new found intelligence (thanks to my bro!).

Today's word of the day is:
pusillanimous \pyoo-suh-LAN-uh-muhs\, adjective:
Lacking in courage and resolution; contemptibly fearful;
cowardly.

I suppose, this is where the statement, "Don't be such a pussy!" comes from? Seriously, 10 points if you use it this weekend at least once. Fifty points if use it towards your girlfriend!

Camel Toe Skill

Well, I guess you'd call it a skill.

Miss France faces being stripped...

Its a sad sad day for beauty pageants, Laetitia Bleger faces being stripped of her Miss France 2004 title for "licentious" behavior.

I always thought "licentious" was the agitated feeling you got when dealing with the incompetence at the Pretoria Central License Department, but alas I've been told that no words can truly explain the feeling.

Ok so let’s look at the word "licentious" seeing as though I have no clue what it means nor do I have the energy to bust out my Oxford. Does it mean posing partially nude for playboy? Does it mean looking totally fucking hot with only your forearm to spare the nibbly bits? I mean c'mon she had no idea the top she was wearing (bottom middle pic below) was going to be see through under a camera flash. This all makes me sick.

The French calling all this licentious is preposterous. It’s like vomit telling poop it stinks!

Girl on girl wedgie action

During ChumpStyles short existence you may be aware that you should never ask what sources I use or what searches I do to get the shite I post on ChumpStyle. I always get embarrassed when I have to go back and read my posts sober - the shit I say & post, Man.

When I post the kak I do I'm usually still totally wasted or have a hangover induced throbbing headache where my vision is blurred every two seconds. The funny thing though is I was absolutely 110% functional when I found this link - Wedgiegirls.com. I laugh myself to sleep at night after finding shit this, the edge of the internet at its finest. Absolute quality.

Check out these machete Atomic Wedgies.

Atomic Wedgie 1 - Atomic Wedgie 2

Woman of my dreams...

The Absolute Bottom 50

Came across this site this morning, Absolute Bottom 50 Punk Bands. All fairly amusing, I suppose you should be a Punk enthusiast to see the true humor. After a bit of browsing I landed on what has got to be the best lists I've seen in a while anyway- Absolute Bottom 50 Blogs, Funeral Eulogies, Sexual Positions, Penis Nicknames. Below are some of my personal favorites from the respective lists.

Blogs
IHaveAnEntertainmentIndustryJobAndYouDont.com
IWillLinkToYouIfYouLinkToMe.com
IAmBoringAndIfYouAreReadingThisSoAreYou.com
BecauseGeocitiesIsTooComplicatedForMe.blogspot.com
TheSameKookyKrazyStuffEveryoneElseIsLinkingTo.com
BecausePetRocksArentInStyleAnymore.org

Funeral Eulogies
I'll never forget the last time I seen him. He was all, "Betcha $50 I can wrestle a 'gator." And I was all, "You're on!"

What happens to us when we die? I have no idea, but holy fuck am I terrified. And I'm a priest, for the love of Christ!

I never screwed Cynthia. But I wanted to and God knows I tried. Even now, in death, I'd have to say I still wouldn't kick the broad out of my bed.

Steve wasn't unhappy about life. He was just super excited to die!

Bill was not a rich man. He was not a proud man. He was not a successful man. Nor was he especially attractive, articulate, or even remotely respected. Neither was he particularly well-liked or hygienic. So I suppose, what I'm really trying to say is... there's cake back at the house and if we hurry, we can probably catch the second half of the Bulls game.

Sexual Positions
The Tony Danza
Siegfried & Boy
The Five Finger Discount
Third Rock from the Buns
The Shape-Shifting Hell-Beast
The Scoutmaster Maneuver

Penis Nicknames
Old Drizzly
The Powerprawn
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Slim Reaper
The Sixth Beatle

There are a lot of other lists, just haven’t had time to look at 'em.

I love you all...

Freedom Day celebrations

The public hol was crazy, actually referring more to the night preceeding! Tiger Tiger it was. Don't have the photies with me unfortunately, but here's a quick summary:

20h00: Arrive for 2 for 1 special.
22h00: Pot goes to sleep in the car after a quarrel with "the wife".
22h30: Wezzo follows - passes out across both front seats, gear knob and handbrake violating him from front and behind.
23h00: I witness a real life chick fight! Some crazy-assed bitch fucked up another! A couple of us guys sort of broke it up, but let it go on a little longer than expected just cos it was so entertaining to watch! Smiles all round! (No pic unfortunately, was too busy enjoying the situation!).
00h00: Get a call from Dyldo McCuntscrape - stoppped at the roadblock in Rivonia. Gets off with a warning before he could offer a tenner as a bribe, even though his alohocal level is way off the Richter scale! Way to go, my boy!
01h00: Judgey-Poo puts all gay rumours aside and books in with a certain housemate of mine! And in case you're wondering, I DO live with a girl!

So there you go, summary of the day's events, zzzzzzzz!

So to make this post more visually appealing, see the following. Received this pic embedded in the mail, with the instructions to press Ctrl+A (select all for you non-techies), the resulting picture is quite funny, I suppose. Okay, I'm sorry, I've got nothing!

Argentinean Cheerleaders - The Best Kind

The Bulls cheerleaders dont even come close, and they are no doubt the best in the land. Ons Bloed is Geel!



Thanks go to Paul for the submission. Shot buddy.

She's struggling with the booze

Had the image below forwarded to me from the better half (The Boxter for those who know her), she added the following as well "Ok if you wanna make me grumpy this would be it!!". I sent a reply back saying "Well then its over!!", you know for shits and giggles. I haven't heard from her since. **Sigh** some people can't take a joke...

Bootleg Browser changed my life

Literally hundreds maybe thousands (had to start over at 802) of links to audio & video of live concerts.

The Greatest Hacker of our Generation

It all starts out in an IRC chat room. A chatter, bitchchecker gets disconnected from the chat (his fault without knowing it). He then logs back in and starts blaming everyone for getting "thrown" out, gets a tad angry and tries to hack into one of the other chatters' PC to delete all his files. Hilarity then ensues, check it out.

For all you non techies: 127.0.0.1 is always the IP-address of the computer you're currently using, any request there will return to your computer. Oh and feel free to vent your rage about how you never understood it. I will only lmao at you 'cos its all pretty self explanatory, beeyatch.

Wicked Weasel my Arse

Being a regular ChumpStyle reader you must have noticed that Dari-Whizzo won't stop going on about Wicked Weasel this and Wicked Weasel that. He's made close on 5 posts about them and CS has only we've only been going for 3 months and a bit.

Dari in case you didn't know there are tons of other sites out there that don't have "Wicked" or "Weasel" anywhere in the title. Send the President of the internet an email, he'll probably be able to help you out, bitch!

Wicked Weasel Bikini's are considered tiny yes, but the following from the-Bikini (unoriginal name for an original site yeah, but hey it works) are considered micro. They have a micro lingerie range as well, skirts the list goes on.

Please D I'm sick of them Aussies, its time to quite linking to 'em and start linking to some barely translatable European or South American sites.

Micro Bikinis


Lingerie

Carpel tunnel? Nah!

Carpal tunnel syndrome is a condition that… blah blah blah… It is most common in middle-aged women (reasons unclear). In recent years, prolonged typing and computer use has been thought to cause carpal tunnel syndrome. A recent study suggests that this may not be the case. (Employee wellbeing email).

Most common in middle aged women? No longer thought to be caused by prolonged typing? Uh huuh! Desperate housewives syndrome is what they should call it! Or buffin’ the muffin’! So the ladeez seem to be causing themselves harm. Maybe us guys should "lend a hand". Then again, just be careful, don't wanna get a recurrences of the "tennis elbow", I mean, I'm doing myself enough harm already!

Random camel of the day

With the possibility of our image hoster hitting the rocks and being solely responsible for fucking up my life (I live for ChumpStyle), I have decided to flame you guys with as much poon, camel, moose-knuckle, walnut, Mickey D burgers as is humanly possible.

I can just imagine your smiles as you guys arrive at your half-jobs this morning, logon to Chump, only to be greeted by yet another WW creation. Damn, any closer and you may just get a yeast infection in your eye. And you don't want that to happen! Or maybe Rox could give us some insight into that?

Vida Guerra 2005 Calendar

Remember that foxy little beeyatch that had her phone photo's stolen. Yes Batman - Paris Hilton did get hers stolen but I'm in fact tolkin about that chick with the Bangin Booty, Vida Guerra. I came across a forum where the discussion was about her the ass in question (don’t ask how I landed up there). A lad commented anonymously claiming to be part of the US FHM photography crew that has apparently done dozens of photo shoots with her. Hey I can't back this up seeing as I don't have time to sift through my browsing history. So take it with a pinch o' salt you hear. It is funny though - who in their right mind would want to have their ass loaded with cellulite.

Anyway, the majority of our hits lately have been from "Vida Guerra stolen phone photos" Yahoo search clues. So the chick is popular, and she and her publicist definitely know this seeing as they only came out with a 2005 calendar of her half nekkid in April (check our the images below).

Check her hips in "January", do they look as though they've also been under a rusty scalpel? Maybe Rox can help us out being the only chick reader we have.

Link from GorillaMask