Jacko acquitted

Entertainment news of the week is no doubt that Wacko Jacko was acquitted of all charges of kiddy fiddling and ass fucking.

Man he must be relieved. These months of agony, embarrassment and lack of child support must've been driving him crazy. If I remember correctly, his bail was set at $1 million, or am I wrong? Whatever it was, way to take advantage of a billionaire – no doubt he would pay huge sums of cash to post bail. Cos there's no price too high to ensure you don’t get torn a new ass in the county jail. You know, an eye for an eye, an ass for an ass, as the saying goes…

From a music standpoint, I'm a huge fan of MJ. But he should seriously stop his shit, no more sleepovers, playing of "games" and getting kids pissed on champagne. It will inevitably lead to some civil or criminal suit – hell, I'd let him touch me in my funny places if I was guaranteed at least 10 mil' in court.

But I'm glad it's over, no more of those crappy re-enactments on E! Live. Shame, Judge what you gonna watch every arvi when you get home from doing nothing all day? Oprah? No doubt Mikey my boooy is happy, unlike our number 2 Jay Zee… no not the rapper, stoopid, I'm talking about Jacob "Show me your number" Zooo-ma.