ChumpStyle Matriek Dans Kompetisie 2006
So matrics all across Safrica are prepping for the final exams and all that crap, probably the most stressful thing we all had to go through at that young stage of our lives. Actually I lie, what about matric dance...?
For the girls, it's all about what you wore and who you took. And crying about the fact that slut-faced Stacy brought your ex-boyfriend, and snogged him all night in front of you. Fucking whore!
For the guys, it's all about whether you got to sit at the cool table, pretending to be all main and stuff, whether you got your date drunk enough at the after party to get any, and come Monday's break time, how well you were able to lie about the fact that your date dissed you for one of the rugby jocks while you walked home in shame. Well that was my matric dance. In a nutshell.
In those days, the guy's outfit was simple, easy and cheap. Black tux. Non negotiable. With tails or without, maybe a top hat and satin 'chief sticking out the pocket. Nowadays, it appears that guys have the balls to dress as flash as the girls. Custom matching outfits with cool themes and shit.
And so the Matric Dance is like the Safrican version of the Oscars, rolling up to the red carpet in some flash ride, your friends umming and ahhing, cameras flashing all over. Unfortunately in some places, execution of the glitz and glamour was not the greatest this year, with more Patricia Lewises than Jennifer Anistons.
Check these humdingers, courtesy of Chicken, critiqued by ChumpStyle's in-house fashionista, Dari Dontthinkso, three times runner-up in the Pretoria North Presley's, "Wat nie om the dra nie".
Fifth place
As for this couple, stylish enough, I'll give them that much. Just pity about the dead chicken on your head babe. Two words. Flies and maggots. Oh, and to the dude, I'm sorry your parents were siblings.
Fourth place
Ferrari themed dress? Personally, I would've gone with a Funderbird feme myself.
Third place
I supposed they're both dressed okay, just pity you can't change the way you look - all malnutritioned with the poor white's tan from selling the Beeld on Sunday mornings in the hot Pretoria Norf sun while the rest of us are playing golf in the eastern suburbs (with factor 40, of course).
Joint first place
I'm sorry about copping out and not having the balls to award the win to one couple, but both of these are such pearlers, it would be unfair if they weren't both first.
Firstly, Spiderman meets Snow White? Nice white shoes buddy, did your dentist give them to you? And then loving the acid green material, guys. And shiny polyester is so in right now! As for the New Rocks / Buffalos (I'm sorry I don't know the difference), planning to stamp out some fires / kick a hole in the Cortina? I'd also be grumpy if I was forced to dress like a knob in public, so don't blame you for the grumpiness.
For the girls, it's all about what you wore and who you took. And crying about the fact that slut-faced Stacy brought your ex-boyfriend, and snogged him all night in front of you. Fucking whore!
For the guys, it's all about whether you got to sit at the cool table, pretending to be all main and stuff, whether you got your date drunk enough at the after party to get any, and come Monday's break time, how well you were able to lie about the fact that your date dissed you for one of the rugby jocks while you walked home in shame. Well that was my matric dance. In a nutshell.
In those days, the guy's outfit was simple, easy and cheap. Black tux. Non negotiable. With tails or without, maybe a top hat and satin 'chief sticking out the pocket. Nowadays, it appears that guys have the balls to dress as flash as the girls. Custom matching outfits with cool themes and shit.
And so the Matric Dance is like the Safrican version of the Oscars, rolling up to the red carpet in some flash ride, your friends umming and ahhing, cameras flashing all over. Unfortunately in some places, execution of the glitz and glamour was not the greatest this year, with more Patricia Lewises than Jennifer Anistons.
Check these humdingers, courtesy of Chicken, critiqued by ChumpStyle's in-house fashionista, Dari Dontthinkso, three times runner-up in the Pretoria North Presley's, "Wat nie om the dra nie".
Fifth place
As for this couple, stylish enough, I'll give them that much. Just pity about the dead chicken on your head babe. Two words. Flies and maggots. Oh, and to the dude, I'm sorry your parents were siblings.
Fourth place
Ferrari themed dress? Personally, I would've gone with a Funderbird feme myself.
Third place
I supposed they're both dressed okay, just pity you can't change the way you look - all malnutritioned with the poor white's tan from selling the Beeld on Sunday mornings in the hot Pretoria Norf sun while the rest of us are playing golf in the eastern suburbs (with factor 40, of course).
Joint first place
I'm sorry about copping out and not having the balls to award the win to one couple, but both of these are such pearlers, it would be unfair if they weren't both first.
Firstly, Spiderman meets Snow White? Nice white shoes buddy, did your dentist give them to you? And then loving the acid green material, guys. And shiny polyester is so in right now! As for the New Rocks / Buffalos (I'm sorry I don't know the difference), planning to stamp out some fires / kick a hole in the Cortina? I'd also be grumpy if I was forced to dress like a knob in public, so don't blame you for the grumpiness.
posted by Dari at Monday, October 23, 2006 | Permalink |
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