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Monday, April 04, 2005

Those Krazy Krouts

Image hosted by Photobucket.comThose crazy Germans make me laugh. Just yesturday I decided to try out the Watermeyer Virgin Active here in P-Town. Get the premier card swiped and then eventually find the changeroom. Walk inside and get confronted with the weirdest looking people I have ever seen, the little boys room in the Starship Enterprise would have nothing on it (which is another story altogether). I decide to make it quick but some dude about 50 or so wearing Jesus sandles and socks stops me. He raps off in broken English with a German accent about how he knows the family.

He hasn't seen us since I was a little kid "von poop eine hosen" (limited German skills: I was a little kid in diapers). I seriously can't remember him at all. We chatted for a while and from what I could make out he's some sort of martial arts instructor and living large, good for him. The Krout then wants to chat to either of my brothers, and he wants to use my phone. I think ok this might be fun and hand him the eleven hundred (the phone not the gun). He unlocks it and flies down to "Matty", "This is him"; "Yes Klaus that's him"; and he starts dialing. Matt picks up and the conversation starts off well with Klaus speaking at the top of his voice. Matt plays along thinking its me fooling around with a German accent until he's finally had enough and I hear "Wes stop shitting with me, seriously this isn't funny any more". Finally after a while I hear what sounds like Cartmen "WES STOP THITTING WITH MEEEEE!!!", and he puts down the phone. At this point I am rolling on the floor, a few other dirty old men in the change room are giggling as well. Klaus looked horrified, and in a angry harsh Hitler tone he rattles off something in German, throws the phone at me and storms off.

Needles to say my gym session was a little eerie. I looked over at my blind spots every 8 seconds. To tell you the truth I'm actually seriously freaked out 'cause according to IOL you don't want to mess with a German with easy access to martial art weapons:
IOL - I am a samurai and this is my forest.
A camouflage-clad German man wielding a samurai sword attacked at least seven hikers in forests west of Berlin, performing sword tricks before ordering them to leave the woods, police said on Friday.
IOL - German man jailed for beheading his mother.
A young German man who decapitated his mother with a Samurai sword after she told him to move out was convicted of murder on Tuesday and sentenced to life in jail.
IOL - German woman killed in samurai sword attack.
A 24-year-old man swinging a Japanese sword killed a woman retail worker and seriously wounded two other women in Germany on Tuesday before plunging the weapon into himself.
IOL - Man attacks churchgoers with samurai sword.
A man wielding a samurai sword killed a 43-year-old woman and seriously injured three others during a church service in the German city of Stuttgart on Sunday, police said.
I have since gone back to "poopen meine hosen", coincidence?

posted by Wezzo at Monday, April 04, 2005 | Permalink |

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