Random links

Get a girlfriend...Still very cool though.

Monty Python and the Holy grail - Transcript of scenes from the movie.

100 Funniest jokes Evers - Stand out at G-Man's B-Day.

Top Simpsons quotes - DOPE!

Office Space soundboard - How could you forget the worst Boss from the coolest Movie. Ummmkk.

As seen on TV

My mother always told me that if I don't have anything constructive to say, don't say anything!

So much can be said about a trimmer to help manicure your lady's bush, but no none of it is close to being constructive. So I will keep it shut.

But if your lady friend is feeling a lil porn-stylish, be sure to hook her up with this beard trimmer - it comes with all kinds of stencils, from cute girly shapes like hearts and star shapes to chilli peppers and powerpuff girls (only the green one) and the classic Che Guevarra.

And it comes with a full money back guarantee.

Oh yes, and in case you've been living under a rock for the past 10 years, or are only ten years old, or you're a conservative, NG Kerk attending Afrikaaner, this is who Jenna Jameson is. NSFW, naturally.

Chump's Boobs of the Week

My Blérrie Goodness

It's amazing how soooo little, can make me soooo happy. The site is in Russian but who honestly has the eyeball strength to move away from the pictures and read the text.

Jockey Zindane's his horse

Harry Potter and Lindsay Lohan's boobs

Hooters

Who says Hooter's chick are dumb and without talent. Well this women has taken a great pass time and converted it into yet another way to please men. She grind her hips and put herself(and the bar stool she's sitting on) into a spin all while pouring a beer. Never spilling a drop mind you.

"Excuse me Manager, Manager, this young lady deserves a raise and a smaller Hooters uniform."

Check the vid at Across the Board now!

Politics 101

It might be a little long but very true and very funny.

A little boy came home from school one day and said to his father, "Dad, what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thought some and said, "OK son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let's say that I'm capitalism because I'm the breadwinner. Your mother will be government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was woken up by his brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. Because he couldn't do anything else, he turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now." "Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?" The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep to the pleas of the people, leaving the future in a pile of shit."

Well how else was I going to get you to read this shit. look-see.

A Blonde Walks in to a Bar...

We havn't done this in a while. Marisa Miller, Krysten, Misty Dawn and Jenny McCarthy in that order. Hey, don't mention it.

ChumpStyle Redesign

Yes Chump means everything to you doesn't it? The first thing you do when you get into the office every morning is point your browser to your faithful blogspot address. You beam a huge smile and let out a resounding sigh when you realize that the fucking writers aren’t useless brown paper bags of poo but upstanding citizens. In the last 24 hours they actually posted something worth every minute of your bad excuse for a coffee break. Yes granted the jokes are bad but damn has Mikey come to the party (and brought some snacks) posting that fine piece of ass. "Oh look the boss is coming, I cant let him see this red and black abomination. I'll see you soon my precious, LCD hug?". Is this your normal sorrow filled morning ritual? You are truly one sorry, tired individual are you not? Quit while you ahead, you little tubby fucker! - The Devil on my Shoulder.

While that’s been on my conscious most mornings it's never stopped me, and is definitely not the reason I've been out action of late. The real reasons are boring and I won't go into them, except to say that I'm double the man I used to be, and I'm not talking Michelin if you catch what I'm throwing down - nudge, nudge.

This all hopefully means that Chump will pick up pace over the next few weeks. There are also plans in the pipeline to change the whole look and feel. Ideas include doing a full 180 going with a white background and a flashy banner, something that a number of people aren’t too happy about mind you. Mike and I also designed a few banners which we feel will suit our vibe - above and below (other shitty ones on our hardrive next to the lesbian porn).

Either this or the Jessica Alba banner above for the white template.

If we stayed with a black template we'd probably go with this.

Go ahead and take a look at the mockup template here. Nothing is set in stone, and yes it's been modeled on our (and perhaps your) favorite blogs such as IDontLikeYouInThatWay, Hollywood Tuna, The Superficial and Splattermail, it's definitely a start and should evolve into something unique - we live in hope. We also have a number of people interested sponsoring us in one way or another from competition prizes to hosting which is all very exciting - if you could only see the smile on my face.

Do make a point of watching this space, oh and please give in to the urge and throw us a few ideas and/or constructive criticism - update: or don't. Let us know if you reckon it's a good idea to get rid of the red and black look altogether for instance.

Link: ChumpStyle redesign mockup

70's Show

You rate you are a bad ass like Hyde, you don't take shit from anyone and you dish just as much out. Maybe you are just a mamas boy like Eric but somehow still manage to get laid. Good for you. Good for you.

Here is a short quiz to determine which one of the 70's show cast members you are most like.

News from one fucked up footballing weekend

Glory glory Amakhosi!

So we went to the Chiefs-United game at Loftus on Saturday. That was probably one of the coolest live sporting event I've ever been to, such atmosphere. The footie wasn't the greatest at times, but the shoot out was awesome. Big up to Rowan Fernandez for yet another shoot out blinder! Please excuse News 24's uselessness for calling him Rowan Alexander - good two and a half line write-up!





To the United fans, boo hoo.

Part-A-Bus

The hockey boyz from Pretoria Old Boys Club have organised a Party bus for tonight, and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be MACHETE DESHTROYER.

There is a problem though, well actually this problem only relates to Wezzo and myself. We work in Santon and Roodepoort respectively, and have to make it through all the traffic and get to Hatfeild by 18:30(when the bus departs on it's savage trip). I'm not sure about Wezzo but I can only leave at 17:00(no flexi-time here) and that doesn't leave much F*uck-up time considering Jo'burg traffic and Friday chaos.

I can only hope all goes well and I end up nearly as smashed as this guy at the end of the night.

Passing out whilst taking a leak. Respek.

So Hjot...Wan to Tush Da Body

Marketa is such a beauty, and so keeping with the ocean theme here is a gallery of her on some very lucky rocks. And NO, I'm not talking about planks.

Crime Expo

Every South African has experienced or knows someone who has experienced violent crime in our lovely country.

This site exposes crime in SA, maybe it will help, maybe it won't...

But hey, anything is worth a try, support the site.

www.crimexposouthafrica.co.za

This just in: "A website which claims to expose crime in South Africa has been sabotaged, Beeld reported on Friday." - News24

Mozambique

Mikey filled you in that we went to Mocam last week. We ripped it a new one.

Here are pics of us having fun while you were working.

Chump's Boobs of the Week

In light of Jinja and Wezzo's recent Mozambique holiday, here are some sandy boobs of the week

Letterman's Top 10 Bush Moments

So funny...
Thanks Buttercup...

Animator vs Animation

Suip Today, Regret Tomorrow...

Our friends at Suipers Union recently had their blog hacked and deshtroyed by some f*cker who obviously doesn't enjoy a great sorry I was pissed story, like the rest of us.

The 21st of August will be the second birthday of the Suipers Union blog and so are only going to launch the new site then. Too bad, so sad. Have a read at what they've got for now.

Which reminds me Jinj, we drank those guys under the table but we still need to finish one of their Suiper's Union League Master Badge challenges and become official ourselves.

Worlds largest nuclear explosion

Equivalent to all the TNT exploded in WW2 times 10...
Russian built, yield of 50 megatons, 4 times bigger than anything the US ever produced.


Update: You can actually see the vid now... my bad.

The Sneaky Bum!

DAYYYYYYYYMN!!!

We finally found a follow up to The Sneaky Boob!


Thanks to Dave for the great find.

Chump's Boobs of the Week

And you thought I forgot...

News from one fucked up big spending weekend

Friday, 7 July 2006
I can't remember when last we had a News post, but it was way over a month ago (I seem to remember that it was a machete DESHTROYER night. This damn soccer World Cup thing. It must be the only thing that could ever put a stop to our socialising. That, and that hjot Swede that cuffed me to the bed the once...

What made it even greater was that we weren't even planning to go, and then inadvertently spoiled a "girls night out". The looks on everyone's faces were priceless!

The usual suspects...




So I've come to the conclusion that the Steers on the N1 is so the greatest place on Earth. Not only are they open at 4am, but they almost let us make our own begguz. Oh yes, and needless to say G-Man got totally wrecked!



What a big night – a good return to the rockstar life!

Tuesday, 11 July 2006
Kanye West – The Dome – 20h30

After much begging and convincing, and a dozen free tickets, we hit the Kanye West concert at The Dome last night.

It was ten times better than when I saw him in Denver - probably cos I didn’t go alone and sit in the cheap seats among the richer of Denver's poor whites. Seriously, how much fun was that? Definitely up there amongst the best of them – U2, Jamiroquai, Bassment Jaxx and the Boss Dogg himself.

For those of you that missed out, he opened with Diamonds From Sierra Leone, played the hits like Golddigger and Through the Wire, and closed with Touch the Sky. He is a seriously good entertainer!





Shot to Judge and Chicken for the tickets. And to Mr Price for the hook up to Golden Circle - I knew we'd find a use for a lawyer some time!

'Til the next big weekend, which is probably this coming weekend. Yip, Saturday will be the last big one for a certain of Chump's lady friends before she jets her way to the UK - but read about it next week!