Woh Dude That Party Was...

MACHETE DESHTROYER (adj.), off the hook, awesome, rampaging, awe-inspiring, remarkable, extraordinary
1. Exceeding the minimal standard of satisfaction.
2. A truly outrageous party or gathering.
3. Represent something really amazing.
4. To receive this moniker, the experience has transcended the norm and in fact gone way beyond it - to realms that are (almost) void of definition. MACHETE DESHTROYER, use sparingly.

Can be used in a sentence such as:

"That band is MACHETE DESHTROYER!"

"Ah Dawg, that 'News from one fucked up weekend' post about that MACHETE DESHTROYER party was MACHETE DESHTROYER!!"

"How was your party Jim?"
"Jesus, fucking Christ, it was insane. It was MACHETE DESHTROYER!"
"Oh, very well. I need those insurance reports on my desk first thing!"

Update:
Thanks Dari.

Smells Like Sweaty Teen Spirit

Here we are now entertain us! The great all ukulele Nirvana cover. Something to get you riled up and ready for a big Tuesday night's worth of drinking, or of course snuggling up with a good text book if you that way inclined. Hmmm Software Engineering Vol 2 or UML Principles?

Pink?

Is that...? Yes apparently it is.

SUPPLIES!

Chump's Boobs of the Week

Jinj is back to school this week, hope his mommy packed a nice lunch in his spidey lunchbox. So with premission from Wezzo, I'm doing boobs of the week.

These are the real thing, all that her mamma gave her, mother nature at it's best, you're getting the point. I'm not taking anything away from silly-cone but I only enjoy plastic if it's done right.(i.e. no squint nips, pit boobs etc.) Then and only then are they great.

Make sure to get at least 10 minutes worth. Check it...

MILF

Name: Monica Bellucci
Date of birth: 30 September 1964
Place of birth: Citta di Castello, Umbria, Italy
Most Polular Movie/Series: The Matrix and Dracula

42 and still one of the sexiest women around. Love the accent.

Name: Gena Lee Nolin
Date of birth: 29 November 1971
Place of birth: Duluth, Minnesota, USA
Most Popular Movies/Series: Baywatch and her very own Sex-Tape.

Well she's still quite a hottie and has recently joined the MILF club. That makes it all that much better.

Now The Battle is On

The most hilarious, funny and to top that, amusing movie trailer remix I've seen all week, the only one in fact...

[Movie Trailer Voice] At Ferrell High Ramseys was the biggest player around, but when the new kid in school (Moses) realised hanging with the in crowd wasn't so easy - he took a stand. Who will get the girl, who will rule the school and if a zero can become a hero. The battle is on.

So let the games begin. From the makers of Must Love Jaws comes a comedy 3000 years in the making - 10 Things I hate about commandments.

CollegeHumor: 10 Things I hate about commandments

_______

Wezzo's promise not to tell, secret of the week: Downloading and viewing ridiculous flash video files - Part 1.
Alright here's the Direct Link for the video above - Right-click -> "Save Target As". Once downloaded you won't be able to open the file unless you have the FLV Player installed. Download it, install it and you smiling. To download Youtube, Vimeo, Google, iFilm etc. videos in a similar fashion install this firefox extension (NSFIEU). If you have any questions leave it in the comments or pop me a mail like Daedalus just did - no dude the only thing spawning viruses is Jinja.

Do watch out next week where Wezzo will give tips on passing finals with a quick browse through the necessary text books and nothing more than a blunt pencil. Hint: Simpathy points!
_______

Stay Classy Pretoria.

X-MEN 3: The Last Stand

This third installment of yet another trilogy is belived to be the best of them all. With an out-the-box story line and a host of new characters , It might just be. The cast from X2 are back but with the likes of Vinnie Jones as the unstoppable stongman Juggernaut and Kelsy Grammer (Frasier) as Beast to name but two... hell the others are Shadowcat, Angel, Callisto, Multiple Man (cool power, shyte name), Leech and Dr. Kavita Rao to round off the additions.

"So hjot wan to tush the body..."

X3 will be showing on your nearest silver screen this Friday the 26th of May, so if you are unsure about whether to see it just give our batty-boy friend Dildo a call for the review. You see Dildo doesn't work on Fridays. Instead of seeing customers, he chucks off to the 12 o'clock movie to keep himself up to date with all that is the movie buzz. That is of course if he hasn't pulled over at a gas station on the way to sleep off his elephant sized hangover.

Anyway enjoy the movie MMM-Kay.

Lamborghini's Off the Hook

What a great idea, I'm mounting that Daewoo of mine as soon as I get a chance.

Some millionaires decorate their mansions with rare paintings. Richard Moriarty bolted a 1974 Lamborghini to the wall of his Newport Beach estate early Friday.

Because Home Depot doesn't sell kits to hang cars as artwork, Moriarty hired a 70-ton crane to lower the Italian sports car through a skylight in his living room. Earlier, the car's engine was removed and transformed into a "200-mph coffee table" for guests who prefer their drinks "shaken not stirred," said Moriarty, an heir to the family that developed South Coast Plaza.

Getting the Lamborghini into the house took about an hour, but the project was conceived months ago, when architect Fleetwood Joiner began designing Moriarty's new home, $2-million worth of steel-and-concrete that will overlook Newport's Back Bay when construction finishes later this year. Full Story - LA Times (Login - Username: bugmenot@mailinator.com, Password: bugmenot)

When I say mounting I do of course mean the exhaust pipe.

Golly gosh am I jealous.

via Save Manny.

Big City Life

Jammin gives a couple of reasons as to why he moved to the suburbs of Cape Town.

More pictures over at DieEmmers
If you want an explanation as to why, when and who IOL has the skinny.

Sibusisu Dlamini: "It doesn't matter who you are, having a rubber bullet shot at you from three meters away is going to leave a mark, ouchies!"

Sign me up for the Israeli Army

I was cruising through the CollegeHumor hotlinks earlier today, a daily chore. I opened the link "Sign me up for the Israeli Army" thinking nothing of it. With the connection we have here the page was loading fuck slow, so I left it. It wasn't only until a few minutes ago did I venture back to the tab. Sweet Mother of God, SIGN ME UP NOW!

What you waiting for: Hot Israeli women in Uniform (x100 pics)
Update: Thanks to commenter Tzahal here's more (flikr account)

LIFEbouy

First we had "HIV doesn't cause AIDS", then "OK, HIV does cause AIDS, but eat potatoes, garlic, olive oil and you'll be fine." And now we have the new and improved LIFEbouy.

It will wash away all your worries. Endorsed by JZ himself, it is garanteed to get you off the hook in more ways than one. Plus as a added bonus it will kill almost 70% of almost all germs that are almost known by man.

WAIT, but there's MORE. If you order today, you will receive a complementary box of Choice condom to pull over your head while showering - it will replace that disgusting scruchy of a thing you call a shower cap. That way you will never have to worry about ruining your new hair-doo either.

Call now to order: 0800-Im-a-dumbshit

also availiable at all dodgy cafes run by hairy, balding short men - batteries sold seperately.

Crumpets Anyone

Crumpet was what us guys now refer to as babes, hotties, honeys, chicks, and slammin ladies. Typical of old folks to compare a women to soft, fluffy, sweet and yummy thingssss...OK...so it works. Carrying on, Loaded magazine have dedicated a page on there site to the honeys of yester-decade called the Classic Crumpets, and it is well worth a look. Supposedly Jordan (pre boob-job, nose-job, lip-job and countless other jobs) is somewhere there in between the other girls. Enjoy the trip into the past and trying to find her, I couldn't.

Bikini Madness

Hooray for really tiny bikinis, or normal bikinis for that matter. This post is dedicated to our new friend VhailorZ over at Domkop. Get your PC game playing, virtual girlfriend having, three columned blog owning ass over there and have a look see at all the bum floss and front-bum floss on show (caution: real bums and real front-bums within the bikinis - NSFW).

Microkitten
Malibu Strings Bikini

and even

Girls Gone Wild

Haters, Haters, Haters

At least Jan die Man and his crew were funny, this chap though is one crouton short of a fondue.

Domkop is a blog with a simple mission:

..domkop will showcase these idiotic blogs, and who knows, maybe we can even have a spoon award, or most idiotic blog of the month.

and a simple rule:

What? There's rules? well... Theres some method behind the madness. The blog im featuring has to be in use, meaning its being updated on a regular basis, and..well... thats about it. 1 rule.

He sends hate our way first, because yes we do run shit ship and I think he knows we can take it. What he might not realise though is that we can can give it back ten fold. Don't take it seriously when it happens (and it will) Domkop it's all part of the game bruv:

Chumpstyle is a Blog that rates 2nd on satopsites.com. You have your typical male-porno-pimp-my-ride-slut-talk-blog. Contents is nothing more than email data which is 6 months old. Guys drooling over half-nekkid pictures of models and actresses isn't really my style. BUT.. seeing as this blog is relative popular I wont really hold that against them (doesn't say much of the South African blog reader now does it).

Who would like this Blog? well, I kinda already said that, your typical male FHM reader. The kind of guy who jerks off watching a recorded episode of desperate housewives in slow-motion. Hopefully I never have to look at this Blog ever again.

ChumpStyle is a shitty blog because it doesn't appeal to the ladies? OK cool, I can live with that. "Jerks off watching a recorded episode of desperate housewives in slow-motion"? I'm more into the recorded Rikki Lake specials, but yeah spot on - each to their own. Man were we roasted or what!

Peas on Toast is also in his firing line with this clever quip:

Content: ok, seems like the topic is this bloggers life, and that's about it. Nothing accept her ex-boyfriends, her obsession with materialism. That's about it.

General comments: Pathetic blog, I wish I had never seen it, I still see pink...pink...pink...pink. I have to go listen to the radio now, 'cause all I can think about is Aerosmiths 'Pink' ....

Aerosmith? I'm guessing that dial is firmly tuned to Jacaranda. I'm just sad he's "never going to look at this Blog ever again", we could have convinced him to come over to the darkside, taken him off to Rivonia and given him free reign to screw some hot babes. Ah well, his loss!

All in all it's a great idea, he's going to get a ton of hits and hatemail which is firmly what he's aiming for. Hey who knows, you could be the next Domkop.

Chump's Boobs of the Week

Joe Momma

From the makers of Superfly - Joe Cartoon now brings you Joe Momma. He's got a new 10 pump BB gun and he's not afraid use it. There is a new episode every Monday, he's up to 7 pumps so far. My fav is definatly 6 pumps.

Check it....Brintey Spears Burger King.

Update:
now it's 8 pumps...can anybody remember that dudes name?

Update:
9 pumps is out...check the cute little puppy.

Keeley Hazell Topless FHM June Spread

Natural all the way apparently, as always I have my doubts but extremely content none the less.

Courtesy of Save Manny:
Keeley Hazell Topless For June FHM UK (NSFW)
ALSO: Keeley Talking About Her Big Naturals On Video (NSFW)

Jesus 1 - Bull 0

"...oh Jesus quit screwing around!"

Akkerliefies Relaunched

Akkerliefies which translates to Acorn Lovelies I've been told have just relaunched their website with a brand new look and feel. Akkerliefies if you have no idea has been a platform to show off the local beauties from the Stellenbosch University campus over the last few years. I received a mail from Adriaan the chief in charge explaining the re-launch:

We have just re-launched Version 3 of our website and this version visually appeals even more to our readers. The new website also has a bunch of new dynamic content, to provide the users with the best possible and easiest online experience ever. The website currently features 18 student models in almost 40 different photo shoots.

Be sure to check it out, some serious home-grown belters dwelling on the outskirts of the mother city.

Akkerliefies V3

You like cock-tails?

How 'bout a Penis Collosus, baby, yeah?





I was approached to appear in all their print ads, but I politely declined. Morally, I'm just against the whole idea...

Your Sex IQ

I usually despise taking these online quizes, but this ones really good. Don't ask me why I took it in the first place.

Your Sex IQ

Petrol Going Up?

I noticed over at pussy galore that they had a post about the Ariel Atom. But on closer inspection noticed it was a modification of the already modded Atom.

The Atom is basically a go-cart with more power to weight ratio than the Enzo Ferrari. It corners like a house fly and has a 0 to 60 mph time of 2.5 secs (if you can change gears that fast), naught hey. It is perfectly street legal, it comes with indicators, licence plate holder, powered by a turbocharged 2.0 litre iVTEC engine (thats a petrol engine for those who don't know - Jinja) and even a Porsche style boot, big enough for two whole brewskies.

So what can the Wrightspeed X1 do that beats that. Well it features wind deflectors, that the atom doesn't (yeah sorry no windscreen, buy a helmet shithead). Kiffer mags, and well that's it, aesthetically. The X1 only does 0 - 60 in 3 secs though. So why's it so cool? Well because its ELECTRIC.

It took on a Ferrari 360 Modena and Porsche Carrera GT, at some drag show. It destroyed the Modena and just just beat the Carrera GT. That makes this the fastest golf cart money can buy. Actually I'm unsure if the massive mobile phone is for sale but the Ariel Atom is well worth the R300 large (performance pack included - bigger brakes, stiffer suspension etc.) Believe me, it's on my wish list.