Perfect Game of Darts

The first perfect 501 game in a televised match.

John Lowe won himself a cool 100,000 British Pond. Video.

Beacham this one is for you buddy, the only game where the more rat faced you get the better you play.

Wheelchair-Basketball Players Stunned By Thunderous Slam Dunk

The Onion has a great new sports section which everyone single one of you have to check out. Yes even you Jinja, you 2 right footed freak.

Other Chump Worthy Onion Sport Headlines:
Lance Armstrong's Endurance Tested By Sheryl Crow Concert
Sports Banquet Ends In Trophy Fight

Legless Football Player Benched For Not Wearing Shoes

It's halftime of a game in Dayton on Sept. 16 -- Colonel White High against Mount Healthy. After Colonel White leaves the locker room, the refs approach the coaches on the sideline. Crew chief Dennis Daly announces, "Number 99 cannot play in this game anymore. He's not wearing shoes, knee pads or thigh pads."

Half the Size, Twice the Man - Sports Illustrated.

Can you say "Football".

Randy Johnson really let himself go

You don't have to be a yank to recognise hillbilly MLB pitcher Randy Johnson. The lad has been around forever. Well in recent times the knuckle ball slinger has really let himself go.

Before


After


At least these days he has the presence of mind to send his fucking short stop wider. Or is that his Guardian Angel. Either way, "move out and wider BITCH!!".

Double Viking has more, or should I say the real story.

Bull vs. Pitbull, who ya got.

This all happened in Alabama after the floods recently, how it made it over to this Russian Livejournal is beyond me. Lucky for you chumps I happen to know a little Rooskie.

15 сентября, Феникс, штат Алабама. Два питбуля, оставшиеся после урагана без хозяев, добывают себе пищу самостоятельно.

15 September, Phoenix, the state of Alabama. Two pitbulls abandonned by their owners after hurricane Katrina, are forced to get food anyway they can.

Их жертвой стал бык, по всей видимости, заблудившийся и отбившийся от стада.

The bull, in all likelihood, had strayed from it's herd and became the pitbull's victim.
(Hey I just translate this shit)

Собак не смутило присутствие фоторепортера, который находился в составе проезжавшего мимо патруля Национальной гвардии, контролирующей районы, пострадавшие от "Катрины".

The dogs were not bothered by the presence of the photo journalist, who was part of passing national guard patrol, who controls the regions which suffered from "Katrina".

Финал истории - собаки застрелены.

The Bull stands victorius.

Hard to believe yeah, so copy the Russian text "Финал истории - собаки застрелены" and head on over to this translation tool, paste the text into the translater, choose Russian to English and prepare to cry like G Man cried when his sister came back after a 2 month stint in the UK.

Overdue Hot Sauce

Every so often Judge gets it right and sends a quality email out to his "mates", which this time included his sister. What is the lady's name (the one on your screen, not Judges sister), should we care? Let's not and say we did.

Bless you Judgie Pooh, bless you.

I bet you are wondering where the less safer for work (if that's possible) images are, well chump they're here.

Want a drag?

Screw peer pressure. Memories of Standard 7, hiding on the koppie in the pine forest come flooding back. But no amount of begging from you guys would ever get me smoking, I'm way to Christian for that! But hell, how 'bout this pack of skyfs?



Thanks to Ben-G for this one. Shot boet!

Fug is the new pretty

Shhhtumbled across this fugging blog. It's all about fugging hot chicks, getting dissed by the fug-nut bloggers, pretty much in ChumpStyle-style.

Update: My bad... this ain't no smutty blog. It's run by two self proclaimed fashion police chicks.

Top Ten Female Streakers

YesButNoButYes has a great Top Ten List of streakers from sporting events. My vote goes to Naomi McDonald (below) who went on to be a big booby model.

Top Ten Female Streakers [NFSW of course]

Can't wait til she turns 16

...sweet SIXTEEN!!!!

Check out his supplies

C.J. Rojas pushed his boat full of supplies through waist high floodwaters in Laffitte, La., after surges from Hurricane Rita flooded the area today. - Boston.com (via CollegeHumour)

Nothing more than Pringles and beer - good on ya son. Getting wasted, greased up and taking the "wake me up when it's over" approach is the only way to do things.

World Stone Skimming Championships

Scots have swept the board at the World Stone Skimming Championships which took place on the tiny island of Easdale, in the Inner Hebrides.

The venue for the sport, known as skiting, is said to have lots of beaches perfect for practising.

The stones must be slate and no greater than 3in in diameter.

Competitors range in age from 18-months to 80-years-old and the current record skim is 65m. A throw is judged on distance rather than number of bounces. - BBC

If only had known this was a sport, I would have over in dreary old Scotland to grab myself the coveted World Stone Skimming Championship Trophy. Every worthy competitor that has crossed The Wezzo's Stone Skipping path has felt his wrath - G Man, Matty, Duzi, G Man I'm talking to you chumps. All I can say lads is - if it hurts its healing.

Related:
Scots dominate in stone skimming - BBC
World Stone Skimming Championships - Photos

Jenny McCarthy throws her tits around

An awesome video of Jenny McCarthy going crazy and throwing her tits around, I have no idea what show or movie this is from but I trust you'll dig it.

Video (5.5Mb)

Clubbing in Norway

#1 Reason to emigrate to Norway. Tiger Tiger lasses are shark shit compared to these belters.

More from where this came from over at Attu Sees All.

Tuckshoppin

After a night out in Lodos (the ridiculous name Dari gives for Lower Downtown Denver) Dari was caught tuckshopping. He'll deny it until he's yellow in the face (HA! Yellow in the face, I crack me up) but here are the pics to prove it.

The best I've seen so far.

Oh God Not Another Nirvana Record

Oh Jeez, Nirvana's back...

A new Nirvana compilation is set for release next month, according to US reports.

The album, which is due in November, has been titled 'Sliver' and will be a single disc featuring three unheard tracks, and material from last year's box set 'With The Lights Out'.

Ideas for the cover image were put together by Courtney Love and her child with Kurt Cobain, Frances Bean Cobain.

Peter Asher, who manages Love, told Rolling Stone: "Courtney and I involve Frances in Nirvana/Kurt decisions whenever we can. She's very perceptive and has cool ideas." - nme.com

Quick Quiz:
If you driving down the N1 and you come across road kill in the center lane what would you do:

A. Drive past it and mumble "ahh that's such a shame - oh fuck Sacha and Ian are back from their ad break, CHANNEL CHAAANGE!!"

B. Drive past and say "Eeww god bless the person that cleans that up - I swear if that chump drives up my arse again I may just start to enjoy it"

C. Actually stop traffic pick the critter up thinking to yourself "this could be big business, who wouldn't want a stuffed Tabby hanging over their mantle piece - people are suckers - lets wrap this up quick team Gareth is talking like Mandela again"

D: Squeal "Oh God, that's my cat and what the hell is that crazy hippie freak picking it up for. Oh my greatness is that her Posse?"

So what did you choose:
Mostly A and B: Well that's good, you a member of the general public that pity's the loss of life and remembers the good times you had but it's time to move on .

Mostly C: You are a typical Courtney Love, always looking for attention whether it's snarfing it up in public, throwing your tits at Madonna or sucking record execs cocks for shits and giggles forgetting that you actually did in the first place to get a record deal.

Mostly D: You probably are a Dave Grohl or the 3rd member that no one cared about. You've either started a new life and moved and doing well for yourself or you sitting back at your local wearing a spaghetti stained "wife beater" calling for another draught and for the bar keep not to forget the beer nuts.

Wise words...

I thought these were brilliant.

Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a
sandwich!

This one is dedicated to Dari... f'ing yank.
Some people are like a Slinky.....
not really good for anything, but you still
can't help but smile when you see one
tumble down the stairs.

Yo HEMPHEAD... Love Mom

Breaking news

We cross live to our correspondant in the United States for breaking news of the amazing emergency landing of a passenger plane at Los Angeles' airport. Over to you Dari Dawg...

George Bush - Even Hell Has Its Standards

The Kiwis have been doing everything right lately, winning the Tri-Nations, naming their Badminton Team the Black Cocks and now depicting George Dubya as Satan himself in a Pizza Delivery ad campaign.

It may look like some clever tool did a little spray painting over the billboard but I've been assured it's not.

Link (via The Octopus Dropkick)

Brad Pitt & Edward Norton Sing The Penis Song

Edward Norton and Brad Pitt sing the Penis Song for a Fight Club trailor that was never released.

The video has the two strumming away at their guitars singing the song. Occasionally, the action snaps to various clips from the movie. Pretty damb cool stuff if you a fan of the movie.

Golden Fiddle has a write up that explains it a little more.

Watch the trailer here! (Direct Link - 20Mb)

Mariah Carey used to be Phatty...

...Now she's replaced the "Ph" with one big "F". F for fucking ugly, and the only idiot she's fooling macking those double D's of hers is that mexican slave boy (pictured below) she drags around. Although I think he's only in it for the green card.

Cow Bell Ring

Christina has really been flaunting that nipple ring lately, remember the last time.

A Camel Toe to be proud of

Hey, as my portly neighbour always says while jiggling his man tits "if you have it flaunt it".

JUDGE!!

Eva is the new Fergie

Remember when Fegie burst on to the scene as the fresh new looking singer (really wasn't that tough) and we all fell head over heals in love with the Latin sensation. Well screw her, Eva Longoria is in town.

ET found in Brakpan.

You thought that cute little wrinkly friend of yours had left the planet at the end of the movie, but actually his spaceship was shot down by mistake on his way home as he was moving over Hillbrow. He managed to land it safely in Brakpan and has been there ever since.

However after his unhealthy addiction to human porn, he became just like his neighbours and eventually sold his spaceship to the PRON TOW vultures and used the cash to buy a trailer.

After accidentally swallowing a Black Label Quartz he had to visit the emergency room and the chops followed him home from there.



At least he still has one phone call to "phone home".