Coach pulls down his pants to prove he's a man.

According to a Coral Gables, Florida police report, Gulliver Prep School baseball coach Lazer Collazo dropped his pants, took out his penis, pointed at it and his testicles, and asked the team if they "had a set of these or were they equipped with a vagina." Story - Local10

Well do ya son? DO YA!! I'm talking about your twig and berries here, the squawking chicken, meat & 2 'tatoes, do you have 'em! Or are running round the court with the good old bearded axe wound. Don't walk away from me Law I'm talkin to you, you no good son of a bitch.

Silicone Sally

Rest your wrist on this silicone bosom buddy to alleviate RSI symptoms!

I have no fucken clue what RSI is (RadioSonnerIntelligense maybe? A bad joke which you may use by the way.), but I have to say its an awesome invention none the less. Breasts to alleviate the pain when belting your mouse across the dinner table (not that I surf for porn at the dinner table, I was just saying). Honestly who comes up with shit like that?

This along with a whole bunch of other cool stuff like can be found over at GadgetGuru. Another item that caught the fancy is a shot glass chess table. Now you can get wasted and humiliated by your geeky mate all in one quick game of chess, tell that to yo mamma.

Hey, go and spread the love - burn some plastic. I definitely would if I actually had the plastic to burn, but alas two car accidents in the last 2 months have set me back somewhat. They have also placed me firm at #4 on the insurers "Bring him back dead or alive" list. Catch me if you can bitches...

FHM's 7 most sexiest out of the 100 most sexiest women in the world!

So as privileged as I was to attend the FHM's 100 most sexiest woman in the world party, I thought I'd narrow the list down (after many sleepless nights) to 7 belters (was going to be top 6 but I just couldn't leave Britney out - after all we've been through it just wouldn't be fair).

So here you go (in reverse order of FHM's list):

Kelly 'you bring a tear to my eye' Brook:
FHM rankin' = 54 ! What were you guys thinkin - just look at her...



Check out these other stylin pics of her if you don't yet agree ...
(Definitely a top 5'er for next year)

Catherine 'your name rings a' Bell
FHM rankin' = 40



How hot was she in Bruce Almighty - its good, its good.

Alyssa ' fo shizza' Milano
FHM rankin' = 24



5th year in a row in the top 100 - respec!

Britney 'I've gone off the rails since I met K-Fed' Spears
FHM rankin' = 10 (scraped in by the last hair on her... um... head)



Ah, the good ol' days.

Charlize ' belter from Benoni' Theron
FHM rankin' = 11! I seriously think she should have been a top tenner.



Heard she is a monster in bed!

Jennifer 'I' Love 'you and' Hewitt 'have thought so.'
FHM rankin' = 5 - thats like one hand dude.



I just want you to know that you might have dropped one place since '04 but you will always be number 1 in my ' Top 100 sexiest woman who acted in " I know what you did last summer" baby!

And last(first) but not least...

Angelina 'i'm a screamer' Jolie
FHM rankin' = 2 (Global winner)



She said and I quote " I need more sex, Okay? Before I die I want to taste everyone in the world!" Wezza there is still hope for you buddy.

And to conclude... BELIEVE IT, CAUSE ITS TRUE!

A dedication to Jan die Man.

Jan, I saw this pic and I thought of you!
I know these are your type of gals so this one goes out to you big dog.



Imagine those four beauties, a couple of hundred splash pools and you. Now thats what you call a pool party. Go big or go bigger buddy.

News from one not so fucked up weekend

Friday, 27 May 2005

Imagine that! No one did anything on Friday night! Phew, a welcome break to our overly hectic lives!! Oh, I lie, Wezzo went to the ballet. That’s right, the BALLET! Makes me worry, considering the recent controversy surrounding him. No offence eKapa!

Saturday, 28 May 2005

For the first time ever (EVER!), all four ChumpStylers went out for a drink at Foundry Fly Lounge, where we discussed Chump’s strategy for the year to come. Okay, again I lie, everybody just got fuck drunk! Oh yes, and we saw Armand from Dotnet (sorry dude, can’t remember your URL).

Sunday, 29 May 2005

Golf challenge, Wingate: The Interrrrnational ChumpStyle Machete Destrrroyers (say in Pora-Afrikaans accent) comprising of Wezzo and G Man challenged Judgey Poo and myself aka Bill ‘n Bob to a round. Up for grabs? Losers to make dinner! Needless to say, me and Judge destrrroyed them, winning by four holes. Actually Wez just fucked things up, and even tried to cheat! Typical. Accomplished golfer Wezzo shot 98, tied with Dari-second round of golf-izzo. Hah! But what the chances they made din-din? Wezzo still doesn't know where the fucking plates are!

Apologies, no pictures this week since there was no puking, scoring random hotties, hair eating or fight club re-enactments, although Wez got quite close to fucking G Man up on the 16th.

Okay, enough now, even I’m getting bored of this post. 'Til next weekend!

Hoff jocks

Whoa! This one even took me by surprise. Salami seems to to be over the Hoff, and decided to leave the Hoff posts up to Chump - rightly so dude, cos you'd never be able to keep up with what we have to Hoffer! Damn, quite hypnotising, can't seem to look away!



Thanks to Jamma for the submission, but shame on you for not sending it to me sooner.

Phwoooar!

This car is as hot as the mocha mommy from Desperate Housewives is, well, also hot! Shit! I think the table is hovering Wez! Can't remember the whole marketing schpiel, but this Maranello's new concept car. Sweet! This goes out my my Pimp Dog!!!





Blue ferrari 1 > Blue ferrari 2 > Blue ferrari 3 >

ALS good in love and war

I've been out of office, hard at work this past week, and so could only make a measly post of News from one fucked up weekend. Shame on me! So I thought I'd come back with a bang! While Wezzo is our resident porn monger, and in an attempt to take over his blog, here is my first real contribution to hardcore. ALS. ALL LADIES SHAVED. Uh huh! 'Nuff said.

Okay, let me apologise in advance, the link is only to a "Guest Section", the real good stuff you gotta pay for.



Be sure to check out the middle of town Public Nudity shoot - imagine tryna do that in Jozi CBD.

And for the ladeez, they have a Wicked Weasel like bikini shop. Rox, perfect for those hot summer days at Camp's Bay. And I love the classic "just get on your haunches and spread 'em" pose. Timeless!

Pumped Up Down Under - Calendar

Oh my God, Oh my God - where and how do I find this stuff. Once again I am humbled and have a found new respect for them Aussies. I literally am a lost for words. I'm off home to clutch my teddy and cry myself to sleep. Ok bye!

Granadelsh, Potatsh & Mugwapsh

President Mugabe is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes.

They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader ask the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a war vet comes along and knocks him dead with a log, that would be a tragedy." "No," says Mugabe," that would be an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Mugabe searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a Zimbabwe Air Force jet carrying Mr Mugabe were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."


"Fantastic!" exclaims Mugabe. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

Neverland Wrestling Camp

And in other news, Michael Jackson in the kak!

No One Fucked with Onestone

There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So named because the lad had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him it.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him it again. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning,Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love toher all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! Poor old Onestone just couldn't get it right.

The moral, yeah you guessed it Einstein. You can't kill two birds with Onestone.



I double dare you to caption the pictures above, leave 'em in the comments ChopStyle (1,2 or 3). Or tell me something I don't know! Either way I'll still love you.

It's like rain on your wedding day.

Fire damages former home of arson suspects

A fire inside the former home of three arson suspects last night caused $40,000 in damages and resulted in a Columbia firefighter cutting his foot on a shard of glass that pierced his boot, Battalion Chief Steve Sapp said.

The house at 601 Washington Ave. previously was occupied by three suspects charged with setting fires inside two Wal-Mart stores on Saturday. Thaddeaus Lee Harvey, 48, Jason Baucom, 31, and Alana DeCapua, 26, each are charged with two counts of first-degree arson for allegedly setting fire to racks of women’s clothing as a diversion to an attempt to steal electronics. [Story - Columbia Daily Tribune]

Ironic? I think not. Have a look at the suspects, downright hilarious. I'd like to think that the lad named Baucoum is the result of DeCoupa and Harvey having backbreaking incestrial* sex but alas the ages don't tally up, or is Harvey the offspring of Baucoum and DeCoupa. Can't make up my mind - hate when that happens.

Suspects:

	+		=
Harvey		DeCapua		Baucom

CollegeHumour once again I thank you for the heads up.

*Incestrial is not a word? Come on! If that is the case the English language has a long way to go I tell you. Afrikaans? Sorry mense it was over before it began!

Lurker Dot Com

The photo (small) was accompanied with a US News & World Report ages ago (12/8/2003), someone only picked up now that there was infact a lurker intrusion. The officer known only by the name of Jenkins.

A photograph ChumpStylers Pot and Gregory-John would be proud of.


Link picked up from SlackerManager

Its on like Donkey Kong!

Donkey Kong Sings Van Halen! Rad.

I LIVE for finding shit like this out on the Net. You have check it out, it will probably take some time to load so go and blow yours and it should be ready by the time you get back. In my case it wasn't.

Kudus balls to CollegeHumour for finding it. I love you guys.