Paris' phone got hacked: The Game

Play the Paris Hiltons's phone got hacked game!

OHMYGOSH! Paris phoned Lindsey!

Lindsey Lohan and The P Hilton have been all over the Internets lately, hardly news worthy stuff but for us ChumpStylers any news generated by hot biatches is news worthy (well I speak on behalf of Dari-Izzo and G Man & myself, Jinja I don't know he's on his own mission). Paris gave Lindsey a call to chat about their endeavors.

Check out the rest of the conversation here.

American humour rocks!

Sy my cousin is in the American mid-west, somewhere in between Hillbilly Hills and Hicksville, trying to book into a hotel (or maybe motel?).

Clerk: Do you have a drivers' licence?
Cuz: Yes, but it's South African.
Clerk: Okay, so will I be able to read it?
{Probably not you toothless, illiterate son-of-your-mother-and-brother!)

...later...

Clerk: ...so it must be hot in South Africa, with being by the equator 'n all?...
{uh huh, SA is on the equator, right next to 'Nam... Namibia}

Who knew Barney could bust out gangsta Rhymes?

Barney and his peeps bust out the Rhymes with amazing ease. Check out the Video (6 Megs - right click save-as punkstyle). The show has been a serious crapfest ever since 10 year olds Jake and Mindy left last year (apparently both spent time in rehab after they OD'ed in the studios bathroom) and lost me as a fan. Men alive, do they now how to bring 'em lost fans back! From now on I won’t miss a bit torrent episode, pinkie promise.

Ai Caramba

Remember last Years Reef bikini competition? Well me neither, but apparently it was a Duzi. This year's however didn't disappoint either. I normally don’t do this, but I'm going to say something profound. I'll be married to chick No.1 by year end, MARK MY WORDS.



View the rest of the gallery here.

Should I spend my lunch money on that?

There comes a time in every young man's life when he stops spending his money on Hamburgers and starts spending it on Fishburgers. I have captured that very moment, on film.

The debate of Fish or Ham is going on in this little guys head right now.

Underwear of the week !

Shamus, imagine waking up next this belter.
DAMN GIRL !

To Steve, love Ang!

Happy birthday big boy!
A cake to remind you of me, mwaaah!
Love u, xxx.

And Jan, don't forget...

Chump-Style wishes to thanks Eric "Punch" Estrada for his guest appearance as a Chump.

Dear Jan Whatshisface

I understand that you do not enjoy our site, but we actually don't care. Keep your two cents to yourself. You should use this to get an education or get a two cent hooker or even more importantly, use it to GET A LIFE!

My response: The Hoff is funny, but if there's a reason that u defend him, then so be it (fag!). Paris without clothes = hits on our page! This page contains no real porn, and if you believe it does, you ain't seen nothing yet. (Dale: Let's send this guy some squirty vids). The jokes are for our enjoyment, meant for friends of which you are not one! And we do have jobs - these bad boys make more maney than you can count!

So, in an attempt to provide content that EVERYBODY can enjoy, here's a quick pic of a fairly hot chick (for our enjoyment!), sporting a T with a slogan that you no doubt live by.

Regards, and good luck for the future buddy, you gonna need it!

A feather in our caps

The 21st of Feb was a great day...

not only did I get so fuck drunk I didn't know what my name was, but also!

CHUMP-STYLE GOT IT'S FIRST HATE MAIL!

Hell it brings a tear to my eye, oh no sorry, it's not that, it's cause I am wearing my eighties toight jeans today... they cut my ball sack in half.

Anyway back to the hate mail. It comes from one Mr Jan Berg.

Mr Berg, thank you for your interest in our humble blog. Your informative criticism can only lead to a better Chump experience for everyone.

I am however, a little concerned about your unhealthy love for The Hoff. Nothing good can EVER come of that Mr Berg... except maybe your unusually large right forearm.

Mr Berg, would I be correct in saying that you commented on Paris merely to hide the fact that, you prefer to give young men "op die poeper"?

I noticed a lot of anger in your email towards the "Poeper giving" side of society, I can't help but wonder if those feelings come from a deep hatred of yourself?

You also mentioned that you didn't like the naked photos we have of women on the site. I apologise if you don't find these images appealing, but I am sure there are plenty of sites out there with images that would interest you.

Thank you Mr Berg for your feedback, we can't make Chump-Style a better place without people like you lending your support.

Remember there is no "I" in TEAM.

So without further ado, here is Chump's First Hate Mail.


Looking at your page I get the urge to stab myself in the eye... has the
design team from gaydar.com come to comment on the style. I see you
guys (gays)(JN: Brilliant man, you crack me up) have found a liking to Mr. Hoff... What the fuck.... Can you
pleez leave such a nice, kind man alone, lots of people including
myself like him. Wif reference to Paris Hilton I is love for her, so
assherbeef I are very not happy wif that pics... it are not nice to show
pics of my bokkie in the naked, I are her number 17 fan, according to
the list on parishiton.com. Pleez take away all the naked fotos cause
it are not nice if a small girl looks there 2.

This page represents the stupidity of young males of today. Don't you
guys have something better to do than look at porn and make stupid
jokes???? I suggest remove the site and get a job.

Your number 1 hate fan

The hoff loving, paris fan

Possible boob of the week candidate?

So who cares if she can't play tennis. She was a marketing tool of the WTA. Maybe she could take up lifesaving - Good floatation devices she got right thurr!

Chump's Boobs of the Week

Jordan showing us her jubblies

Random hottie of the day

Just a hottie that made her way thru to my Inbox. How I would love to get to her inbox.

Paris walks into a bar...

...and the barman says: "Why the slanty face?".

After my "Paris' phone got hizacked" post on Monday. The J Ninja and I were text Skypin' (he doesn’t have a mic) one another about how hot Paris is, well I was going on how hot she is he said she looked like a smelly camel. We went through the whole std 5 routine of "yes she is" - "no she isn’t" - "yes she so is". Jinja eventually gave up handing me a triumphant victory.

He really got me thinking though. What is it that I see in her that our red head Italian friend doesn’t? Why should we even grant her with a fucking post (besides the fact that we got 10 times as many hits as we have on any other day)? I went back and had a look at her phone photos and the more I looked at them the more I became highly annoyed. She friggin tilts her head to the right in almost every photo, what’s up with that. Well done Jinja Ninja I'm officially annoyed... until tomorrow that is.

Doesnt that just annoy you. I'm steamin. I apologise for pointing this out smg and Salami, hey who knows you probably never read as far as this and found the quickest exit route to the bathroom.

Have you heard the one where Keanu & an Exorcist...

Hollywood star Keanu Reeves said he trained with an exorcist for his latest film, "Constantine". MSN An ACTING coach Keanu - not a fucking exorcist. Still think you did your best work in Bill and Ted though. Catch you at the Fire & Dragon later for beers, cheers mate.

Marilyn Manson Marries Bird

Read somewhere that Marilyn Manson is getting married to Dita von Teese... wait for it... in a CHURCH!!! Shock Shock Horror - Jibba, Jabba Squeek Squeek. Cool found the link again, go read here. If you have a queezy stomach don't - cause the article aint worth the MS Word it was written on...

Anyhoo, Now being a confused metal-head (c'mon Jessica Simpson's hot) I should care right, NO - I hate the fucker. I lie he's my hero.

Man this post is beginning to suck... Ok lets step it up. You guys are gonna be proud like a father when I tell you I did some research on the bitch he's bustin - Dita von Teese. Turns out she puts out and will drop trou at the drop of a crucifix.

Much respec goes out to Lord of Darkness, no not Ozzy silly - Marilyn, haven't you been listening. Although I wonder who would win if they had a bitchslap fight.

Oh sorry back to the Teese...

View the the gallery here. Safe for work.

Paris' phone photos posted on the web

This is serious news, Paris Hilton's phone got hacked and her camera phone photos and address book were posted all over the Net. Super thanks go to the The Superficial guy(s) for being such (a) great informant(s).

View Paris Hilton's Address Book [mirror]
View Paris Hilton's Notes
View Paris Hilton's Camera Phone Photos [mirror]

The hottie she's lashing is apparently Eglantina Zingg from MTV fame.

Update: Dammit sorry guys seems the site displaying the pics have exceeded their bandwidth, try again later - its worth it. I'll try and find other links.

New Update: The mirror sites from The Superficial work (at the moment). Seems as though T-Mobile (Paris' Cell phone provider) have done a huge crack down on sites displaying the photos and notes. GorillaMask explains.

For all you you FireFox users out there big-up - lets take the fucking web back yo. Good news to ya'll, one killer theme has landed - Pimpzilla. Fits my lifestyle and my browsing experiance. You'll love it, like I love you (stop it Wez, just stop it).

Oh, and dont forget to rate Pautzie a 10 at HotOrNot.com. Dont feal obliged to though, to tell you the truth I smacked him with 0 - then felt sorry for the guy went back and gave him a 10.

Peas out.


Update: Okay, gave him a 0 again. I swear I have some compulsive disorder... Okay that explains it - I was listening to Journey backwards at the time.

Some dodgy, some not so

A few days ago Dari-Izzo informed us of the best site ever! EVER! I beg to differ, I'm more inclined to click on granny-saggy-tits.com in my favorites than type out ratemy-etc-.com. Anyway, the mother of rating sites is good ol' HotOrNot.com. Some real dodgy photos out there like this on of our mate Pautzie (love the 'stash my boy). Please for Pautzie's sake rate him a 10 (he's at 5.3 after 44 votes at the moment), and lets take the dodgiest photo ever posted to the top of HotOrNot.com. Speaking of top rated pics check out these belters:

Belter 1
Belter 2
Belter 3
Belter 4
Belter 5
Belter 6 (shown)
Belter 7

If you find any more please do not hesitate to share. I dont wanna see no Pautzie clones, aight.

Kind Regards
Wezza-Palooza

Celebrity Secrets

My favorite show on Telli EVER! is Late Night With Conan O'Brien. If you've never seen it before its one of those late-night-comedy-interview-a-couple-o-celebrity shows - but with an edge. The Conezone does a hilarious skit every so often with one his guests called Celebrity Secrets. Here are some of the best:

It's amazing what famous people will tell you when you lock them in a small, dark room and deprive them of human contact. From Snoop to Shatner and Fabio to Mr. T, we've got all their whimpering confessions caught on tape.

TRUMP SECRETS
"When we first started taping 'The Apprentice', I didn't tell people, 'You're fired!', I'd just say 'Hey, look behind you!', and then I'd just run out of the room. It wasn't bad."

"One day when I was in fifth grade, this kid came along and he took my lunchbox. When i told him it was mine, he said 'I don't see your name on it!' That's when I learned to put my name in giant, really giant letters on every single thing I own."

"I know it looks like I comb my hair forward, but actually that's not true, I comb my face backwards."

"I'm very proud of my 'son', and most importantly the light it provides to our solar system."

SNOOP SECRETS
"Before I was called 'Snoop Dog' I was called 'Snoop Doggy Dog.' Before that I was called 'Snoop Diggity Doggity Dogg.' Before that, I was just called, 'The Phantom.'"

"Last Christmas I put on a Santa Claus mask, and I said to three of my ladies, 'ho, ho, ho.' They didn't think it was funny."

"It's true, Dr. Dre is not a real doctor. I just wish he had told me that before I let him remove my pancreas."

"When I go to restaurants, the waiters always ask me if I want a doggy bag. I'm tired of that. All you waiters, stop asking me if I want a motherfucking doggy bag."

T SECRETS
"When I guest starred on Silver Spoons I asked Ricky Schroeder if he was the kid who cried a lot in the movie The Champ. He said yes. Then he asked me if I cried when I saw the movie. I said 'No.' I lied."

"I remember one time I tried to pity this fool. He told me his name was Jeff. He was married. He pulled out his wallet and showed me three pictures of his kids; Kelly, Robert, Brittany. Real cute kids. Don't get too close man. It's hard to pity a fool if you get too close."

"In Rocky III my character's name was Clubber Lang. I wanted him to be cutesy Mike Sunshine. The producers said no. That made me sad."

"People wonder why I call myself Mr. T. One dude asked, 'does the T stand for tough?' I said no. Another dude asked if the T stands for my last name, Tureaud. No it does not. The 'T' in Mr. T stands for tuna. T loves tuna."

PALTROW SECRETS
"You'd never know it by my movies but I haven't taken a shower in seven years. I smell like an old dumpster. Take it or leave it boys."

"Halle Berry totally stole the whole crying-when-you-win-your-Oscar thing from me. Also, all that other stuff about opening the door for other black actresses, that was mine too."

"I'm superstitious. Before I start a new movie, I also kill a hobo with a hammer."

"In Shakespeare in Love, I played a woman playing a man playing a woman. In actuality, I am a man who was playing a woman, playing a man, playing a woman. My apologies to anyone who's ever whacked off to me."

MCENROE SECRETS
"I am a lot like Martina Navratilova. I got into tennis for the chicks."

"When I yelled at that umpire 'You can't be serious!' I was referring to Sirius, the closest star in our solar system."

"People are always trying to get me to say which country has the worst judges. I don't want to be undiplomatic, so let's just say France and England both suck equally."

"On the court, Jimmy Connors was my rival. But between the sheets, he was my friend."

Check the rest out...

Late Night With Conan O'Brien is on CNBC (channel 54 on DSTV) every Saturday at 22:45 & 23:30 and every Sunday at 22:45

F'ing BRILLIANT idea

The person who came up with this idea is a f'ing genius. You get your hair cut by sexy bitches walking around in sexy bitch outfits!

What more can a man / carpet munching lesbian bitch ask for?

Click here for more!

Does this remind you of someone guys? I'll give you a clue - its another word for HAPPINESS?

Ain't no man like the HOFF man! And the Hoff's message today is, "Kids, keep it clean, stay in school, thumbs up fo life!"

Another Valentine's wish... from The Hof

Can't get over how dick-riculous this guy is. I don't think "The Hof" pictures will ever get un-funny! Can't stop laughing!

Bit of an Indy fan are we?

	A large black ball, originally designed by Swedish scientists for use on Mars, could be the latest weapon in the war against burglars. The device, developed at the University of Uppsala, acts as a high-tech security guard capable of detecting an intruder thanks to either radar
or infra-red sensors. Once alerted, it can summon help, sound an alarm or pursue the intruders, taking pictures. It is capable of travelling at 20mph, somewhat faster than a human being. Even worse for intruders, the robot ball can still give chase over mud, snow and water. More I could never make this shit up, have a look at the article. I cant stop laughing to myself thinking about a bunch of cat burglars running around my estate with a large boulder chasing 'em, eventually getting bored of the whole exercise and moving out the fucken way. Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood what have you done to society.

Miss Cameltoe Contest

View each contestant and then add a comment to vote for your favourite!

Miss Canada

Miss Detroit

George Michael Bids Farewell to Pop World

Singer George Michael said farewell to the world of pop music on Wednesday, using a candid documentary about his life to put the record straight before he "disappeared."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Sunsets

Which sunset do you prefer?


Good but not good enough...


Fantastic! EAT EAT EAT

Chump stylers!

Guys, just wanted to let you know that I finished the Midmar Mile this weekend also without training but Im not as gay as Darius who posts his results on the blog!!! Dude, what are you looking for a sponsor or something? And you shave your legs, you are so fudge packer dude!

Just kidding.

Respect to you cycle boy, maybe you should think of getting a tandem going with Lucy???

Keep it in your pants.

G Man

And now for some controversy...

So I cycled in the Super Cycle Challenge on Sunday. Organised all the fancy gear: black tighty-tights with extra padding (courtesy two MaxiPads), skin-tight raver vest, fancy Fila footwear, tortoise shell for head protection and left- and right-handed golf gloves (I cut the fingers off so it wouldn't look strange!). And shaved my legs.

Actually managed to finish all 58km of it without any training, hadn't even ridden a bicycle for over a year

Felt quite good thru the race, only problem is that I suffered some hectic anal bruising, experiencing anal leakage from time to time. It still stings when I piss!

Finished in just under 3 hours, 232 out of 291 cyclists, beating only old women, weak children, two postmen and some guy that 'jacked a kid's BMX.
Here my results:

Bet this post sets a new record for comments. Let's wait and see, Billagio and Wooooooza, what have u got to say?!

M6 powerhaus

Instead of the usual posting of a hot chick wearing a see-thru thong, I've decided to post something hotter! The new Beemer M6. It's like a hot chick, only that it fucks off first, and then you come, and not the other way round where you come first, and then the whore fucks off!

For you Drivin' Miss Daisy types that can handle nothing more than a 1300 Chico (no aircon) - look away. This puppy is reserved for the big boys!

The best site ever! EVER!

From the creators of RateMyMullet, comes the incredible RateMyThong. Here's a sneek peek, both are averaging in the 9's somewhere.



hmmm, wonder if there's a RateMyBoobies.com?